Ever So Often

377A

2007-10-22T17:33:00.000-04:00

Put aside the debate about whether homosexuality is "right" or "wrong", of whether or not is is "unnatural". Should the government really have jurisdiction of what happens between 2 consenting adults?

This shouldn't be about whether or not we are "too conservative" to endorse homosexuality. I'm pretty sure in our "conservative society" adultery is frowned upon, and yet that isn't illegal is it? Or what of premarital sex? That's morally wrong too isn't it? Does our "conservative majority" disapprove? Probably. Is it illegal? No.

So just because extra-marital and premarital sex are legal, does it mean that we're somehow approving such behaviour? If we are, then shouldn't those laws be changed to reflect societal norms?

Maybe it is a lifestyle choice. Maybe its inborn. But that's besides the point. The state shouldn't be dictating what goes on between 2 adults. It's that simple. Repealing 377A is not going to rip apart the fabric of our society. It's probably already happening regardless of what the law says. And it's probably not very enforceable anyway. Unless the police are spying on every single gay couple in the country and monitoring their every move. So repealing it isn't going to suddenly encourage hordes of gay people to start having sex in public.

And don't bring religion into it. We're supposed to be a secular country, so I don't see why religious views should be taken into account when the state is making decisions.

The bottom line is that the state has no business denying 2 consenting individuals their rights when no one gets hurt.

A la fin

2007-07-21T19:49:00.000-04:00

When things have fallen apart, all that is left to do is to pick up the pieces and move on.

NB

2007-05-31T23:50:00.000-04:00

To the bus driver who flipped me off today, even after I made it to the second bus stop before your bloody bus did, despite your best efforts, and after you refused to stop at the first stop:

I HOPE YOU GET STRUCK BY LIGHTNING TOMORROW AND GO TO BUS-DRIVER HELL.

Failing which, I hope you get sacked. If you don't want to pick people up, don't be a f^&king bus driver. Worse than that, you and your unions are f^&king lazy - demanding 2% pay increases every year despite already earning $21 an hour, or about $50k per year.

If you people bloody did your job, maybe I would be just a tad sympathetic, but when you are lazy, inefficient, and already ridiculously well paid, go fly kite understand?. Preferably a big, big kite that will lift you into the sky and then send you crashing back to earth so that you can go to bus-driver hell.

Yes, I'm pissed. But not stopping for me twice, and then flipping me off, on a day when I have to get to school for a test does not exactly put me in the best of moods.

To the above mentioned driver: I sincerely hope one day you will find your ass so firmly glued to your driver's seat that you will have no choice but to become part of the bus.

In the meantime, I hope that your right to strike gets revoked because you are providing an essential service, and while you sit on your well paid fat asses, the poorer people among us have to suffer the consequences of your greed. First by spending more on transport because you're too lazy to do your job, and secondly because my f^&king fares are going to increase again to pay for your already over-sized pay checks. I don't see why millions of people should have to bear the costs of the greed of the few thousand of you.

So f^&k you and your unions.

I'm glad I walk to McGill every day during the regular semesters instead of paying for your disgusting greed.

Note 2 self

2007-05-27T05:19:00.000-04:00

The silence is immediate and deafening.

2007-04-03T18:56:00.000-04:00

Out in the cold and in the dark, hanging by a thread, I search for answers as to why things are the way they are now. I know they will not be found, for they are not mine to give, but for some reason I try anyway, as if maybe it's all my fault after all and I should be the one to make it right.

And now I'm re-evaluating everything, because this has led me to wonder how much I really mean to all the people I know. Do I mean as much to them as they do to me? What are the dynamics of these relationships? With whom does the balance of power lie?

Should I really be so pragmatic and mercenary? I used to think not, but maybe, that was my mistake. Because really, we always expect something from our friends in return don't we? It might not be much, but that expectation still exists.

No expectations, no disappointments. That's so easy to say but the truth is, if you search yourself hard enough, you'll find that you do have expectations anyway. And it is when you feel that these expectations are a minimum and yet not fulfilled that there is the greatest disappointment.

Actions speak louder than words, or so the saying goes. Sometimes, inaction speaks volumes too.

So where do things stand? The answers don't lie with me. So I'm back to where I started from anyway, slave to the whims and fancies of others - sitting on my hands, staring blankly into space, with no control over what happens.

I've given it my all, done everything I could. Sometimes that simply isn't enough. If there was more that could have been done, someone tell me what that was, for I don't see it.

Here and now

2007-03-31T19:54:00.000-04:00

Fatigued. Mentally, physically, emotionally fatigued. This semester has felt a lot longer than it really is, although curiously enough, my schedule is actually somewhat lighter in terms of class hours. The classes are harder, and require a lot more work, so that probably more than makes up for it.

I long to take to the field again for that fleeting escape from everything. To be among friends, to have meaningless banter, to have fun, win or lose. To feel the scorching sun on my back, to get home exhausted and raw, but thoroughly satisfied.

Unfortunately, exams beckon. 16 more days before the start of exams, and then, after 11 days, it will all be over.

But who am I kidding? There is precious little to look forward to after that. However, now is not the time for self-reflection.

Time to focus on the here and now.

Not if, but when

2007-02-08T17:30:00.000-05:00

It's not a question of if, but when.

At the beginning of every semester, I wonder to myself when the hours spent on classes, the endless assignments and midterms will get to me. When the 10 or so hours spent in the library on the weekends will finally make me stop to re-evaluate and ask myself, yet again, how much I really want to be doing this.

I wonder how soon I reach the critical breaking point. Just like during the 72-kilometer route march that I had to do while serving in the Armed Forces. The point where you're so exhausted your brain is telling you that you should probably stop. If you do stop, you probably won't get to the finish. And if you don't, more often than not, you make it. To be absolutely honest, McGill's semester isn't all that different from that route march.

It happens every semester.

Coming back from school everyday at 6 (or later), knowing that I can only allow myself a short break after dinner before I have to get down to work is tiring. Waking up in the mornings with my brain still tired, and obviously not sufficiently rested from the previous day's work makes me think that I sleep only so that the night will pass by more quickly.

So eventually the questions start coming.

Why am I doing this? Is it really what I want to do? If, like everyone says, it is only going to get worse when I graduate, do I really still want to be doing this? Do I really enjoy what I'm doing? What did I get myself into? Is there something else I'd rather be doing?

And the truth is, I have no concrete answers to any of these questions.

Then, the pragmatic Singaporean in me speaks up: It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you don't like what you are doing, if you want to be doing something else. This IS what you want to be doing because it earns you a living. Who cares about personal satisfaction?

Of course, I will remind myself that it DOES matter to me. And upon reflection, I always point out to myself that electrical engineering is something that interests me, that I am really enjoying my classes, and that I am not studying it just because it is going to earn me a living.

So I have this whole debate with myself again, and I have to admit that there is a bit of all of the above motivations that is driving me. I am undeniably, a product of the Singapore system.

At the end of the day, the issue of what my real motivations are is never really resolved. I don't think it ever will be; but re-evaluating is probably not a bad thing because it tends to give perspective.

And perspective is needed now, because this is the first breaking point this semester.

10 hours spent in the library over the weekend, an assignment that was due Monday, a lab report due Wednesday, and midterms on Wednesday and Friday. Oh, and of course the small matter of having to go to classes until 5 or 6 Monday to Thursday. Yesterday was midterm 1. Class from 10:30 am to 5:30 pm, no breaks in between, and then the mid-term from 6:30 to 9. By the time I get home I am so utterly exhausted I cannot think straight.

I wake up this morning and I know I really should just take a break, but I can't, because there is another midterm on Friday for which I have to study for. There's just one more day to go, before the weekend brings temporary and very fleeting respite, for there is another midterm next Friday. After that, Reading Week beckons, and then the cycle repeats itself.

It's just down to plugging away and blocking the tiredness out. After this week, I'll probably feel a lot better. Looking out at Montreal at night, it helps to feel small and insignificant.

Because if I am small and insignificant, then my problems probably are too.

Marseilles/Paris photos

2007-01-21T22:32:00.000-05:00

Marseilles and Paris photos are now up. Not too many photos of either place. Marseilles was very idyllic part of the holiday, since we didn't do much. We just spent the days lazing around, and it was very relaxing. Paris was much nicer by night because it was cloudy during the day while we were there, and out night pictures didn't turn out all too well. The better ones have been included.

They're all available here.

Also have upgraded to the new Google blogger. Don't think there should be too many changes if at all, and I don't plan any major changes during the semester, but I might be playing around with this in summer, if I feel inspired.

Barcelona/Girona photos are up

2007-01-11T18:13:00.000-05:00

Photos of Barcelona and Girona are up. Marseilles and Paris photos still to come.

Places of interest in Barcelona apart from the main street, Las Ramblas, were Park Guell and Sagrada Familia. Casa Batllo looked really pretty from the outside, but 16 euros was too steep for either of us, so we decided not to go inside. All 3 places are work of Gaudi. Wikipedia links provided for the curious. There are some pictures on the Wikipedia pages too.

Girona was a lot quieter and less pretty/interesting. Supposedly the place from which Kaballah started its spread in the western world. Or at least that's what one of the locals told us.

To see the photos, click on the "Flickr photos" link below my zeitgeist and look for the set titled "travels".

We're not "all the same"

2006-12-07T18:55:00.000-05:00

Classes ended Tuesday, and we had an optional review session for one of our classes on Wednesday. This class is taught by a visiting prof, whom I've always thought was a little eccentric, but generally a nice guy. He sometimes seems like he doesn't know what he's doing, and he's not good at answering questions posed in class, but I'm not here to critique his teaching. Anyway, I decided not to go for the review, because I was pretty familiar with the material, but my friend did. And here's what happened during that class.

First, some background information. This friend of mine is Canadian, born and raised in Canada, although his parents are from Taiwan. Next, my prof likes to digress and give lots of unrelated anecdotes in class, and he's commented on more than one occasion on how impressed he is by the diversity if the student population in McGill.

So now, back to the review session. He's teaching, and then he goes on another of his tangential spiels, which results on him talking about the diversity and of how he doesn't get that back in the university where he's from (south of the border). Then he starts giving examples, by pointing out students in his class, with whom I (or rather my friend) assume he's spoken to before. "Like you, you're from Paris, and you, you're from..." Then he gets to my friend, and he says "from China".

So my friend is really mad, and goes to speak to the prof after class, partly because he had something else to speak to the prof about anyway. My friend tells the prof that he really shouldn't be telling people where they're from, and then he points out that he is Canadian, born in Canada, and that his family is from Taiwan, not China. And then my prof says:

"Oh, to me they're all the same"

Never mind the whole Taiwan-China issue, my friend was just too taken aback to react. Honestly, I'm glad I wasn't there. Because if I was, I would have lost it and probably shouted at him.

No, we're not all the same. Not everyone of Asian descent was born in Asia, and not everyone from Asia is from China. And you're a prof. You really should know better. And if you don't, then you really should know better than to say stuff like that.

Living in Montreal, cosmopolitan city and all, I have experienced racism before. Usually, I am unaffected. But I am truly astounded by the ignorance displayed by my prof. And in the course of apologising to my friend, he said numerous other things that just further proved his ignorance (which my friend told me but I can't remember exactly).

When my friend related this incident to me, I was pretty shocked and also angry as well. But I don't have the eloquence or the lucidity to say everything that's in my head right now. Also because I think the issues of race, ethnicity and nationality are complex ones. I'm also unsure if I should feel sorry that my prof is so ignorant and doesn't know it, or if I should be outraged because his remarks were so insensitive.

As of now, I still have not collected all my thoughts on this, and with exams looming, by the time I do, the anger might have passed. I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that a professor can be so ignorant.

In whose best interests?

2006-11-16T10:39:00.000-05:00

There's a blog post here about how raising consumption taxes is the best way to go about financing help schemes for the poor. It's written by an economist, and it raises the point that consumption taxes do not distort price signals and hence do not add "excess burden" onto the economy. The contention is that everyone is taxed equally, but only the poor receive the help packages, so overall they are better off.

I think these contentions miss the point. As I stated in my letter, these help schemes won't be indefinite, and I doubt they will be around for as long as the tax increase will be. But going further than that, we have to recognise what is best for the economy may not be what is best for the lower-income. The widening income gap already suggests this as the poorer section of society is being left behind as the rest of the economy develops. So, if we want to help the poor, we should be looking at what works best for them, not what works best for the economy. We have to accept that what is best for the lower-income may not be good for the economy.

A widening income gap is undesirable for reasons other than economic ones. We have to be aware that this issue encompasses more than just economics, and we have to keep in mind the rationale for the increase - to help the lower-income. All the arguments for raising the GST I've seen so far are about how its best for the economy, how it lets us remain competitive and stuff like that. None of them address the reason why this is an issue in the first place - what is best for the poor?

The GST increase

2006-11-14T18:35:00.000-05:00

It has been a while since I last posted anything, and part of the reason is that I've been swamped with midterms. There has been a temporary let up, and I've done better than I expected on some of my midterms. Much as I bitch and whine about being so busy, maybe it does bring out the best in me.

Anyway, I've read about the GST hike, and I do have some things to say about it. Quite a bit actually. So much so that I decided to write a letter into the ST Forum. I have no idea whether it will be published, and even if it does, it will probably be edited, so here it is as I sent it.

I refer to the article "GST will go up to 7 percent" by Lydia Lim (ST, Nov 14). According to the report, PM Lee justified the Goods and Services Tax (GST) increase by saying that the tax hike would be used to finance social measures to help lower-income Singaporeans. While it is heartening to know that the government has made plans to help this group of people, financing help schemes by increasing GST seems counterproductive.

The GST is a consumption tax. That is, people are only taxed on the portion of their income that they spend. It is a regressive tax, placing a greater burden on the poor, given that the lower-income households have to spend a larger proportion of their income on necessities, increasing GST would only serve to increase the tax burden on these households.

If person A earns $5000 a month, and person B earns $100 a month, and bot spend $800 on necessities, both individuals would have to pay $56 in taxes. As a percentage of income, person A would be spending 1.12% of his monthly income on taxes, while person B would have to spend 5.6% of his income. Person B is paying 5 times more of his income in taxes in percentage terms than person A.

It may be argued that the GST is not really regressive as the rich are able to spend more, and thus will be taxed more. However, even if we assume person A spends $1600, twice that of person B, the amount paid in taxes ($112) would still only be 2.24% of his monthly income, less than half that of the percentage of income person B spends on taxes, even though person B's consumption in absolute terms is lower. Furthermore, this neglects the fact that the poor usually spend a larger proportion of their income than the rich.

Increasing GST to help finance measures to help the lower-income households would only serve to place a greater tax burden on these families. The article also mentioned that PM Lee had pledged that the government would "put in place a comprehensive package to fully offset the impact of the GST hike". However, one would imagine that these measures would only help to alleviate the burden for a finite period of time, after which lower-income families would have to find ways to cope with higher taxes.

A look at the Ministry of Finance website also shows that from 2005 - 2007, income taxes for the highest tax bracket would have gone down by 2%, from 22% in 2005 to 20% in 2007. For the lowest tax bracket, the decrease is just 0.5%, from 4% to 3.5%. If the government is seeking to reduce the burden on lower- and middle-income families, why is the reduction in tax rates in the lower brackets lower than that of the higher tax brackets? This is especially given that PM Lee said that he wanted to "tilt the balance in favour of the lower income Singaporeans".

In addition, the government's simultaneous consideration of lowering corporate taxes to make Singapore more attractive to foreign investment seems to do this at the expense of Singaporeans. While it might not be the case, it seems that increasing the consumption tax has been effected so that corporate taxes can be reduced in future. This raises the question of whether the government is shifting the burden of tax from companies onto individual Singaporeans, and specifically, lower-income Singaporeans.

If the balance is to be tilted in favour of this group of Singaporeans, it would seem more prudent to mitigate the regressive nature of GST by exempting basic necessities from it so that the lower-income households would not have to bear a greater burden of taxation when they are already struggling to make ends meet.

While I applaud the fact that the government is looking into ways to help the lower-income group in Singapore, the means by which these measures will be finance appear to put a greater burden on the very group of people they are supposed to help.

The link to the MOF webpage on personal income taxes is here.

There is also a further analysis of income tax versus consumption tax here. The analysis in my letter only highlights the burden of GST on the lower-income, but the link that I've provided gives further proof that increasing GST is going to hurt the poor because it compares the total taxable income of lower-income households versus higher-income households.

Lastly, a disclaimer. I am no Economics major. I am merely using JC-level econs analysis. I know there are other factors to consider, stuff like price elasticity of demand, that could have effects on how regressive GST really is. Even so, I think my basic point is valid.

"I can't sit in front because then I can't talk. And if I can't talk I'll fall asleep."

2006-10-24T23:57:00.000-04:00

This is what someone said to his friend before stepping into one of my classes. If you can't stay awake, buy some coffee, get some gum or just don't come to class. You want to talk in class to stay awake, and then bother the prof about things that have just been explained cos you were too busy talking and weren't listening, get your parents build your own school and hire your own teachers. Otherwise, stay at home and sleep. Don't be a selfish bastard and disrupt others' learning.

I am surrounded by irritating 18-19 year olds, and sometimes school feels like secondary school or JC again. I've lost count of the number of times when profs have had to ask people to keep it down and to stop talking.

There was even once when the prof had to raise her voice and bang on the table in the tutorial and tell the class off because it was too noisy. You know, like when you were in secondary school, and your form teacher would scold to the class about behaving properly during contact time because one of your subject teachers complained. After which there would be this awkward momentary silence. Like that. And then in subsequent classes they laugh about it, because they thought it was funny.

I wonder whether the day will come when the prof starts asking those who talk to put their index fingers on their lips like in primary school. That would be entertaining.

And then when you tell people in class politely to keep quiet because it's distracting, they give you this look like you shouldn't be asking for quiet in class.

I so want to smack them on the head and ask them to wake up their idea. Except that they would not know what the hell I mean.

Stupid kids.

I wish I was a kid again

2006-10-22T00:41:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wish I was a kid again because life was so much easier then, when you could attribute your lack of understanding on the fact that you were too young to know better.

The more you know and understand, the more complicated things become. Because now there are many sides to an issue, and you should be able to distinguish them. Yet, there is no right or wrong. You have to consider the nuances of the situation, the circumstances, and you have to be aware of the consequences of your chosen course of action or inaction. Our actions and feelings are tempered by our knowledge, and the burden of responsibilty that comes with it.

So we make our choices, knowing that we cannot always be fully aware of the consequences, and yet we will have to deal with these as yet undetermined consequences. We feel happy or relieved when we manage to achieve something, or maybe just to get through it. And yet we know that that feeling of satisfaction or relief is only temporary, because there is still more to come. Personal responsibilty behooves us to move on, because we cannot live in the past, because the world is moving on, and it is our responsibility to follow suit.

In knowing more, we also see more clearly just how much we don't know, and yet, it is because we want to find out more about what we don't know, that we try to know more.

I spy with my little eye

2006-10-05T16:57:00.000-04:00

In class today "hey-my-good-man" c was seated two rows in front of me, playing on his faculty standard Toshiba Tecra M5 laptop. And guess what he did? He went to WebCT Vista to submit an assignment online.

But wait! He said that it crashes on him! Shouldn't I do the right thing and warn him of the grave consequences of him logging on to WebCT Vista? Before I can stop him, he has already logged in. Damn! My indecision has cost him, and he will now have to face the "blue screen of death"!

But well what do you know? It didn't crash. He could navigate without any problems, and he even managed to submit his assignment. An assignment which, by the way, was given to us in pdf format.

So just as I suspected, all his BS about his computer crashing and not being able to open pdfs was well, BS.

2 years in the army was not for nothing, though truth be told, he was not exaclty trying to be discreet. All the same, don't test my sharp ears eagle eyes.

Next time he asks for an assignment, depending on how I'm feeling, I will either ignore him or ask him to get it himself. And if he pulls that "it always crashes on me" bullshit again, I shall point out to him that his fancy Tecra seemed to work fine in class.

Midterm season

2006-10-03T23:11:00.000-04:00

It has just occurred to me that starting next week, I have 7 midterms in 7 weeks. That means one midterm every week save for the first week in November, because I have 2 midterms in the same week 2 weeks from now. The last of my midterms is on November 20. Finals start 2 weeks later, on December 7th. So, I have 10 weeks before finals, and in 6 of those 10 I have midterms to study for. Not forgetting that there are weekly assignments in at least 2 of my courses, and work to boot. This is only the 4th week of school.

I guess maybe I should be thankful because this semester, the last day of classes is 5th December, and finals begin on the 7th. So thoughtful of the school to give us all of 24 hours to prepare for our finals. I am so gonna be working myself into the ground and I will have no life.

All I want is to make it through this semester. I hope I don't burn out before then.

I'm a "good man"

2006-10-02T21:56:00.000-04:00

Either you're too lazy to log on to WebCT to get the assignment pdf yourself, or you've been downloading too much porn and it has messed up your computer. Either way, I am not helping you get assignment questions off the web anymore.

Here's what happened:

c says:

hey my good man

Of course I'm your "good man" because you only ever talk to me when you need help.

tim - crazy week ahead says:

heya

c says:

haha could you tell me this week's assignment questions?

tim - crazy week ahead says:

erm

tim - crazy week ahead says:

they're on webct

tim - crazy week ahead says:

i haven't gotten them off the web yet

In other words, GO GET THEM YOURSELF you lazy ass.

c says:

yeah, it keeps crashing on me

c says:

sorry could I ask this as a favour, after this I will leave you alone

Right. Because you don't really know me, and aren't interested in getting to know me anyway. Until the next time you need help. Which would probably be next week. Or when you need some answers/solutions to a problem, whichever is sooner. Then I'll be your "good man" again. I decide to dally a bit, just to make him wait. Anyway, I'm in the middle of homework, and I just want to finish it up first.

tim - crazy week ahead says:

yeah hang on

tim - crazy week ahead says:

i'm getting it now

So I send him the pdf.

c says:

thanks

c says:

wait, I'm not sure if I can open it, could you just tell me

Sending of "A4.pdf" to c has failed.

He cancels the transfer. I am puzzled.

I send you the file with the questions, and now you tell me you can't open it? You want me to send you the question numbers in the book one by one? It's not that it's difficult for me or anything, but hello, obviously you are not telling me something. You say WebCT crashes on you when you try to get the assignment, which I find highly dubious anyway, because if WebCT did really always crash on you, how come you haven't tried to get it fixed yet? And how do you manage to do all your homework and get info about classes?

tim - crazy week ahead says:

13.83

tim - crazy week ahead says:

13.95

tim - crazy week ahead says:

13.97

tim - crazy week ahead says:

13.105

tim - crazy week ahead says:

13.113

tim - crazy week ahead says:

you can't open pdfs?

So I give him the question numbers, and I ask casually why he can't open pdfs. I decide that I don't want this to be a weekly occurrence.

c says:

my friend hasn't downloaded that software

Huh? Your friend doesn't have acrobat reader on his computer? WTF?!? It's free, it usually comes pre-installed, and most courses in McGill have some pdf documents on WebCT anyway. You mean he's using a 486 with Windows 3.11 and cannot support acrobat reader?

And anyway, you told me that WebCT crashes on YOU. I assume that it means your computer. I know you have a laptop, because I've seen you play with it in class. And I know you just got it last year, because it's the faculty standard one. But hell, I guess your friend who doesn't have acrobat reader must have a really lousy computer then. Why the hell are you using it?

I decide to be kaypoh and a general pain in the ass.

tim - crazy week ahead says:

and his browser crashes in webct?

tim - crazy week ahead says:

i thought you said you had a problem with it

Suddenly, a flood of replies.

c says:

not on webct, just opening pdf's

c says:

thanks

c says:

later

And he's offline. He must not want to answer my questions. Which leads me to the conclusions that I drew.

Again, it's not so much that I have to help you. It's that you barely know me, and you only ever talk to me when you need help. That's all that ever happens. Every week. Sorry, but I am not your play thing. Go be a parasite to someone else.

Oh, and stop downloading porn lah.

McGill does it again

2006-09-29T16:26:00.000-04:00

More proof of the hypothesis put forward here.

McGill has outdone itself again. Ok, this time it's the Faculty of Engineering. More specifically, the Department of Electrical, Computer and Software Engineering.

Before I go on, just some background info. All of McGill's Engineering programmes are accredited. That means the various provincial engineering boards look through the curriculum, and vet it, and basically say that if you've gone to McGill and gotten an engineering degree, it will be recognised and you can join the engineering board so that you can be recognised as a professional engineer.

I found out today from a friend who attended an Engineering Undergraduate Society council meeting as a rep that all of McGill's Software Engineering graduates from last spring until now have degrees that have not been accredited because McGill did not submit the necessary paperwork by the stipulated deadline. So that means that these graduates technically aren't engineers. They can't join the engineering boards, and they can't work as engineers. The paperwork has been submitted, but the school doesn't know when the accreditation will be given, and this could potentially affect Software Engineers who are graduating this Fall.

If you thought that was bad, McGill has not made an official announcement notifying these students of the situation. I've been told that the rationale behind the decision is that because the paperwork has been submitted, they are confident the programme will be accredited eventually. Because there has not been a statement by the school, I don't know if this is true. Whatever the case, these students have spent 3-4 years of their lives paying money to McGill, and have a piece of paper which is basically worthless and they are being kept in the dark about it. In response, the EUS is now trying to inform students by word of mouth.

I can't help but see the irony that in order to have an approved engineering programme, all engineering students have to take a course in engineering ethics, and yet, the school or department responsible for this whole thing doesn't even have the decency to let people know that they screwed up.

And it's not like it's a minor problem - these graduates are losing out on job opportunities because Software Engineering is a relatively new degree (it's about 3-4 years old, and some of my friends suspect that they may have been the first class of Software Engineers to graduate from McGill, though we don't know for sure), and there are few people with such a qualification around right now. The fact that it is relatively new might also be a factor in explaining why the situation has arisen, but again, this is just me speculating.

Whatever it is, I think the hypothesis has been sufficiently proven.

McGill Admin is f$%king messed up.

"Friends"

2006-09-26T10:58:00.000-04:00

Don't think I don't notice how you only ever bother to know me when you need help. Suddenly you are all buddy-buddy with me just because you can't solve your assignment. You hardly ever talk to me, or even acknowledge me when we see each other, and now you are willing to even offer me "help" leh. Too bad for you I have ample experience dealing with all sorts of people during NS, your type included.

I don't want or need you to be my "friend". So bugger off, and find someone else to leech off.

Back to school again

2006-09-23T19:10:00.000-04:00

It's about 3 weeks into the semester, and the work is starting to come in. Settling in again was pretty easy, and classes seem pretty interesting, but challenging at the same time. I'm sort of glad that work already seems to occupy a good part of my time, and now that I've managed to get a job as well, the year ahead will probably go by fast.

It feels good to be back in school again actually, and I'm excited by what I'm going to be learning. However, the majority of the electrical engineering students seem to be really inconsiderate assholes. There have been people not only refuse to turn off their phones in class, but also answer them, without even bothering to be discreet about it.

Yes, I know that hands-free is really neat, and that your phone is really new and you think it's so cool, but don't answer it in class. Oh, and just in case you don't know, your uber cool phone doesn't impress me, because honestly, I've seen uber cool phones like the Samsung Ultra series. I know your friend tells you your new Nokia is so slim and what not, but it's a brick compared to what's available where I from. So stop flaunting it at me and leave it in your pocket.

There was also this class that I sat through, where the prof was going through some stuff slowly. It wasn't difficult to understand, and it was only semi-new, but more than half the class did not have the courtesy to keep quiet, even after he sublty hinted that he was "not used to this low rumbling background noise". And, because they talk so much, they miss what he is saying, and ask him about it 5 seconds after he explains something. I totally understand if you've been paying attention, and don't get it. But if you didn't want to listen, and then realised that you missed out on something, don't slow down the whole class because you weren't listening in the first place.

And this one takes the cake. Really. There were 3 guys in front of me during the above-mentioned class. They weren't paying attention, and one of them was messing around with their calculators. It must really have been an achievement for one of them to spell "5EX" it because they were passing it around and finding it really amusing. I had to prevent myself from bursting out into a "wah piang eh", and I was half tempted to ask them to go and get laid already, but then I realised that no, if you were spelling "5EX" on your calculator when you were 19 and finding it really fun, then not being able to get laid would explain your fascination at being able to spell it on your calculator.

So I realise that I'm surrounded by people with the maturity of 6 year olds for the next 3 years. I guess the best I'm going to be able to do is to avoid these people, but there are so many of them, I'm probably not going to have many friends in my faculty.

Good thing work is gonna keep me busy.

Lost for words

2006-09-05T06:48:00.000-04:00

Before I say anything else, I have to admit that I DO NOT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE.

There have been blog posts here and here about what is happening in Catholic High School.

Again, I reiterate that I do not know the truth and veracity of the assertions.

If they are true, then I am really sad that this has happened to my alma mater. For those of you who know me, I really enjoyed myself there. For those of you who know me even better, I did not enjoy it there initially. Now I look back on my time in that school with great fondness, and I sometimes wish I could do it all over again.

It's not an elite school like Raffles Institution, or Chinese High. Members of Parliament don't send their sons there. St Nick's girls don't like us (or do they? =p Don't worry if you don't get it).

While I was there, though I did not fully appreciate it at the time, it was a genuinely good school. Our teachers were dedicated and hardworking. They were also friendly and helpful, and had a great rapport with the students. I can't state that as a fact for the other batches, but I do know for us who took our "O" Levels in 2000, this was the case.

I cannot say that as students, we were hardworking and dedicated. Heheh. But I think when the time came for us to work, we did. We were all good friends too, and people were generally really friendly. It is not uncommon for me to recognise a familiar face on the streets and just wave "Hi" to someone whom I know was also in Catholic High at the time. I still keep in contact with my group of friends from there. And I still play soccer with the same bunch of people. We've been playing soccer together since 1997. That's almost 10 years already.

Heck, when I go back to the school with my friends, even the canteen operators can recognise us as former students.

Things have changed since I've graduated. Teachers have moved on, a new principal took over. When I visit the teachers who were still there, I had heard that some of them were unhappy. But if the allegations are true, I imagined they were this bad. Of the 9 teachers listed who were transferred, I can attest that at least 5 of them are really good teachers who we respected. Some of them have been at the school for a really long time, and it would be a great loss for the school so see them go.

I struggle to put into words the sadness and nostalgia that I now feel. I am somewhat lost for words. I find myself wanting to go back home, just so I can pop by and maybe just talk to the teachers who are still there how things are for them. After all, they've always asked about us when we visit.

And I realise that I'm blogging about this in my PE T-shirt.

And then I was gone

2006-09-02T00:55:00.000-04:00

It is in how hard it is that I realise how much it means to me.

What higher standards?

2006-08-17T08:28:00.000-04:00

"It is not the role of journalists or newspapers in Singapore to champion issues, or campaign against the Government."

If you remember the mrbrown incident, this is what a certain press secretary said. Assuming we accept that, is it not logical then the journalists and newspapers should then just stick to reporting the news?

Well, The Straits Times doesn't really seem to be adhering to the "higher standards" a serious newspaper should meet. Read here. Now you know why I only flip through the sports section in such a "serious newspaper".

I am Singaporean

2006-08-09T07:50:00.000-04:00

I don't consider myself a patriotic Singaporean. But when I am overseas, it is important to me that I am recognised as one. I let everyone know that I'm from Singapore.

People in Canada say I look like I'm from China, or Japan, or Korea, or Vietnam, or the Phillippines, but I'm not.

I’m from Singapore.

When I speak in my Singlish accent, none of my Canadian friends can understand what I say. I pepper my speech with expressions like lahs, lehs, and lors. I know they don't mean the same thing, but I struggle to explain when you use which.

I don't steal or pilfer. I stun or kope. I don't pretend. I bedek and wayang. I don't watch over things, I jagar them. Things aren't expensive, they're just damn ex. There are numerous other expressions, some of which do not have English equivalents.

Even when I speak in my modulated tone so I can be understood, I have to consciously try to cut down on my use of abbreviations.

I can swear in abbreviations. LJ does not only stand for LiveJournal. CB, NB and KNN are not pleasant things to say. But I sometimes mutter them under my breath anyway.

National service showcases how you can be creative in with such expressions. I've heard a two minute stream of hokkien vulgarities before. It is also customary to ask someone if he understands when you are spewing vulgarities at him. For example, "Fuck you lah, understand or not?".

I know how wrong a service called "GBuy" can sound.

I'm used to having lunch for $5 or less. Roti prata is not just for breakfast, it can be for supper too. 1 kosong costs 60 cents.

There is a different type of chilli for every dish. Even french fries are meant to be eaten with chilli sauce. Thai hot sauce does NOT work for everything.

I don't drink tea. I drink teh. Teh-O, teh-O-ping, teh si, teh ping or just plain teh. I also like milo dinosaurs.

I know that when there is a packet of tissue on the table, it's been "choped".

I also know that despite their "A" ratings for hygine, hawker food is not very hygenic. But I eat it anyway, because it's so darned good.

I complain about low pay, rising costs and the gahmen, and about how shitty it can be to live here. I contemplate emigrating, but this is home.

I was born here, in Singapore.

I am Singaporean.

A question

2006-07-23T07:38:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know the mr brown saga is old news, but I just read this post of my friend's and after commenting, I'm kind of fired up. I will keep it short though, and I did make the following point in my comments - I just want it on my blog too.

In her reply to the mr brown column, Ms K Bhavani says of his column: "His piece is calculated to encourage cynicism and despondency". But just think for a minute. As a Singaporean, what causes you to feel more cynical and despondent? Reading mr brown's column, or Ms K Bhavani's reply and the subsequent suspension of his Today column?

So Ms Bhavani, who is the one encouraging cynicism and despondency?

A tribute

2006-07-21T09:28:00.000-04:00

On July 22, Dennis Bergkamp will grace the pitch at Emirates stadium wearing the Arsenal shirt for the last time. After 11 years and over 100 goals for Arsenal, he is retiring.

He was, and will always be, the player that I liked to watch the most. I remember eagerly awaiting Saturday nights for live telecasts of Arsenal games. I remember that adrenaline and sense of expectation every time he stepped onto the pitch. And I remember the great goals he scored. Like his hat-trick against Leceister in 1997. Or like the one against Argentina during France'98, in the 89th minute of the semi-final, with the score at 1-1. And who could forget the one against Newcastle in 2002, where commentators were so amazed they wondered whether it was even intentional. The three goals he scored for his hat-trick in 1997 were ranked the top 3 goals of the month by BBC Match of the Day, a feat that has never been repeated.

But scoring goals was not the only aspect of Bergkamp's play. He had a deft touch, immaculate control and visionary passing. There have been numerous times when teammates like Marc Overmars, Patrick Kluivert, Nicolas Anelka, Fredrik Ljungberg and Thierry Henry have all benefitted from a defence splitting pass from Bergkamp. He made it all look so simple, and he conjured it up on such a regular basis that you were in danger of forgetting how much skill he possesed. There are numerous compilations of his many great goals. This is but one of them.

Although he featured mostly as a substitute in the later stages of his career at Arsenal, watching them will not be the same now that he's retired. It's been said that there are many great scorers of goals, but Bergkamp was a scorer of great goals. Some consider him the best foreign player ever to play in the English Premier League, and Thierry Henry has said that Bergkamp was the best strike partner he ever had.

Quiet and unassumming, it was easy to underestimate how skilled he truly was. So here's to the Non-Flying Dutchman, an Arsenal great - Dennis Bergkamp.

Consolidation

2006-07-13T07:59:00.000-04:00

Remember that job interview all those months ago? Well, I had to fill up another survey from that same company again in Orchard MRT while waiting for a friend, and guess what? Two days later, and another phone call from them. Except this time I declined. I know it's the same company because I recognised the collar pin that the guy who asked me to fill out the survey was wearing.

Some things just don't change. Like the numerous people from "charities" that ask you for money at Orchard MRT. Nowadays, I just flat out say "no". I'll have to admit it was kind of funny seeing how the guy's jaw dropped because he obviously was not expecting me to be so direct. Hey, but that's what you get when people from your organisation try to make me donate more than I agree to, by putting down my name for $5 before I even say how much I'm willing to give. And yes, I know that you are "only here for a day", but I heard that line 10 months ago too.

Anyway, I realise I have not had the opportunity to consolidate my first year in Montreal, and a few days of meeting up with friends and doing the things I used to do have given me some perspective.

First of all, I realise now that it is probably time for me to move on from some aspects of the life which I left behind. A glimpse of the past served as a timely reminder. There were things that I'd hoped to accomplish, but I realise that it's not possible anymore, and that the situation has changed too. I am neither motivated nor enthusiastic.

There are also things that I still enjoy immensely. Like playing soccer for 2 and a half hours straight. Yes, I ached so bad that even walking around hurt for 2 days after, but boy was it fun. The feeling of being so carefree and in your element, the adrenaline, the banter between friends, the sheer simplicity of it all - after all these years, the charm has not faded. On the pitch, we are children once again, and the glint, the hint of mischief and glee, is evident in everyone's eyes.

Meeting up with friends whom I've not seen for months, I realise that I have grown up. Sometimes I am told that I sound more mature, at other times I notice that we've talked about similar things before, but now my responses have changed.

In Montreal, Darren, Karen, Ken, Suling and of course, Char, have been the source of much fun and laughter. Special mention goes out to Darren, who was an immense help during the last week in Montreal. The six of us grew so close we were practically family - idiosyncrasies, individual -isms, flatulence and belches all included. My stay in Montreal has allowed me to develop in ways that would not have been possible back home, and I cherish the memories that I have.

It is time to move on, and it is here that I notice the greatest change in myself. I recognise that I have to leave my friends and the good times behind much more easily now. It is still difficult, but I accept that we can't live in the past forever, and I no longer agonise over the inevitable. I probably will not find a similar group of friends next year, just like I have not found a similar group of friends to the ones that I have in Singapore, but I'm sure that next year, I'll develop another set of friendships that will carry me through. The friends that I've been lucky enough to find have been unique, and I am glad they cannot be replicated. If all friendships could be the same, then there would be no special value attached to each of them.

It has been a great year, and the memories will remain with me forever. I know that it will be different next year, but I look forward to making it unique in its own right.

I'm back

2006-07-07T02:54:00.000-04:00

I'm back in Singapore, and will be around till the 30th of August. Call me at my old mobile phone number, e-mail me, or msn me to arrange for a meet-up. I'm almost done with the unpacking, most of my stuff is out of the bags, and I just need to finish up. The flight home was long, and the 11-hour journey from Chicago to Tokyo was made worse by the other passengers sitting beside me.

I was assigned the middle seat of the 3 beside the window on the left side of the plane. I remember telling the agent that I'd like a window seat, but I guess the plane must have been full. Anyway, it was too late, and I took my seat beside the guy sitting on the inside. I silently hope that the seat on my right will remail empty so that I can take it, and give myself some breathing space. That hope disaapears when a plump middle aged man in an orange t-shirt takes the seat beside me. It dawns on me that it is going to be a long and uncomfortable trip when the y on my left gets up to go to the washroom before the plane takes off. The guy on my right also lets out a big yawn, and I am left cursing my luck. His breath smells of cigarettes, and to add to that, it smells REALLY bad. The heavy - morning breath - kind of bad. Except worse. So throughout the flight, I have to keep getting up to let the guy on the inside go to the washroom, and I have to contend with Mr Dragon Breath on my right, who loves to yawn, and being a smoker, coughs a lot. He also drinks alcohol at every meal, adding to the foulness of his breath. I am half tempted to go the the washroom and get him a toothbrush, but I restrain myself.

I arrive in Tokyo with my olfactory system barely functioning, and proceeed to the gate, where I have a 4 hour wait ahead of me. I listen to the Rent soundtrack again, and realise that most of the songs are growing on me. I feel like watching it all over again. There is a delayed telecast of the Italy - Germany semi-final, so the wait is not too long. The flight from Tokyo to Singapore is thankfully, pretty empty, and I get the whole row of window seats to myself, for which I am very thankful after my 11-hour ordeal.

Anyway, I arrive in Singapore without incident, and meet my parents at the gate and we go home. I can't sleep, so I stay up to watch the France - Portugal semi, which was so boring I fell asleep at the end.

Anyway, now that I'm back, and I have a regular internet connection, posts should become more frequent. I know I said that last time, but that was before my girlfirend's roommate decided to cancel her internet without telling her. Meanwhile, I was too cheap to pay for 2 months of internet that I won't be using for July and August, so I did without much internet since May.

And just before I end, pictures of my apartment are up on my flickr page. They've been organised into a set, and I had to delete the one of my trips to Niagara Falls and Quebec City in September and December respectively. The photos are still there, but since I can only have 3 sets, what I will do is start tagging all my photos, so they can be easliy searched. The photos for my summer trips to Niagara Falls, New York and a 1-day camping trip to Mont Tremblant are not up yet - I have to edit and upload them first.

I'm coming back

2006-05-27T12:08:00.000-04:00

Just to let everyone know, I'll be coming back to Singapore on the 6th of July, and leaving for Montreal on the 30th of August. I'll be home for about 8 weeks, and I'll give everyone a call and/or e-mail when I get back.

And check out this ad for the NUS Business School. It's so absurd it's hilarious.

The Da Vinci Code

2006-05-23T22:08:00.000-04:00

I sometimes go to church at the Newman Centre at McGill University, and I'm on their mailing list just so that I know when mass times are every weekend. Someone on that mailing list decided to send the following e-mail to all of us a while back:

Dear Friends,

I'm sending along a copy of an email I just sent to Bishop Mancini here in Montreal, re: DVC. I've included some of you tentatively, as I'm not sure what you're reaction will be, but I feel not only is a response warranted, but that we must take great care with it. We should not become anxious or uncharitible, but nor should we, for a number of reasons, remain indifferent. First of all, if we love Jesus, it should hurt and anger us to see Him misrepresented. Secondly, and I know this is unbelievable, but a lot of people WILL believe that this movie is telling the truth. For their sake, we cannot simply ignore this and allow people to be led into error. Thirdly, people cannot use art (and/or freedom of the press, as we've seen in recent days) as an excuse to smear or misrepresent religion - ANY religion.

I think the strategy suggested below is a great one - it's not my idea, but Barbara Nicolosi's. Check out her blog at http://churchofthemasses.blogspot.com.

Blessings,

(name deleted)

Dear Bishop Anthony,

Hello! (name deleted) here, one of the "gang" from the Newman Monday night gatherings. This is slightly last minute, but I was wondering if you would be willing to ask the parishes in the diocese of Montreal, and also our Protestant brothers and sisters, to make the following suggestion in their bulletins, announcements, etc.

As you're probably aware, The Da Vinci Code movie is coming out on May 19th. There have been several conflicting responses from the Christian community as to how we should respond. Some are saying we must see the movie in order to be able to "dialogue" or even to evangelize. Some are saying the movie should be boycotted.

Each of these responses has its respective problems. Dialogue does not seem to be what those pushing the movie are after, and even if it is so, it should certainly not happen on their terms alone. There is also the danger of some of the faithful being led into error by the half truths that are presented. As for boycotting the film, this will only help the film by increasing visibility and publicity, thus driving up the box office revenue. And the only "votes" that count in Hollywood are those cast at the box office. If we stay home, we don't get counted.

A solution being proposed by Barbara Nicolosi, a faithful Catholic film critic, screenwriting professor and the founding Director of Act One, Inc, a non-profit training and formation program for Hollywood writers and executives is following: othercotting. We should all go to the movies on the opening weekend of DVC. But we should all see another movie; her suggestion being the new Dreamworks film, Over the Hedge. (You can see a full commentary from her on this topic online at http://www.christianitytoday.com/channels/movies/commen
taries/othercott.html. She also has a wonderful blog online called http://churchofthemasses.blogspot.com/ where she writes often about faith and culture, particularly the film industry.)

This is, I think, a wonderful idea. We will not come across as angry or close minded. We will not be wasting energy on a media who does not want to listen to what we're really saying. Best of all, we will not be supporting lies about our Lord with money or our presence, but rather telling Hollywood in the only language they listen to/understand (cash), the types of movies we do want to see. We also have a responsibility as Christians to contribute to the redemption of art and culture and those who create it.

I will be organizing a group of people (I will likely be making the arrangements on May 17th to try to get a group rate) to go that weekend to the AMC, the time is yet to be determined, as they don't have the schedule posted yet. If anyone is interested in coming, please feel free to give them my email: and I'd be happy to have them join us. I would also encourage other parish groups to do the same. They can call the AMC at 904-1274 and speak to Natalie re: group rates.

Blessings in Him,

(name deleted)

I completely disagree with the e-mail, and what was said on the Christianity Today site. I'm Catholic, I've read the book, and I've watched the movie. I cannot comprehend what drives people to take a work of fiction so seriously. I don't have the book with me right now, but I remember that right at the beginning, Dan Brown actually lists the facts which he uses in writing the book. If I recall correctly, and I'm sure I have most of it down, the facts are that the Priory of Sion existed, and some famous people like Leonardo Da Vinci and Sir Isacc Newton were members, and the Opus Dei is a real Catholic organisation. I'm don't know the Priory part, but I do know for a fact that Opus Dei does exist.

So I don't understand people who claim that the book "wears its heresy and blasphemy as a badge of honor" as claimed in the above-mentioned website. Erm... Ok, except that it is a work of FICTION. You know, the stuff of one's imagination. It doesn't claim to give a historically accurate account of things, and asking for disclaimers at the beginning of the film is just plain ridiculous. If you go to the movies and expect to watch a movie that depicts reality accurately, then you're on the wrong planet.

This whole "othercotting" business is also, in my opinion, crap. If you believe the movie to be sacrilegious, and don't want to watch it, then don't. Don't a) come up with some stupid idea of watching another movie instead in hopes of making a statement, and don't b) e-mail everyone on the mailing list seeking support for your dim-witted idea.

Quoting parts of the webpage that deal with this whole idea of an "alternative boycott":

"Some are suggesting a protest. But the problem with this option is that it doesn't work. Any publicity is good publicity. Protests not only fuel the box office, they make all Christians look like idiots."

Of course they make you look like idiots. How can you expect NOT to look like one when you obviously CAN'T DIFFERENTIATE REALITY FROM FICTION.

"Some suggest that we simply ignore the movie. But the problem with this option is that the box office is a ballot box. The only people whose votes are counted are those who buy tickets; if you stay home, you have thrown your vote away, and you do nothing to shape the Hollywood decision-making process regarding what movies will make it to the big screen."

Erm.. Ok, extrapolating from this one movie and saying that movie studios will now make more movies partially based on facts regarding religions just on the basis of the success of The Da Vinci Code is quite a stretch, but even if I accept that, how on earth does watching another movie change anything?

The box office is NOT a ballot box. It isn't a one man - one vote system, and Hollywood is not a democracy. People are free to watch as many movies as they want, as many times as they want. What was it that she said about looking like an idiot again?

And now, addressing points in the e-mail itself:

"First of all, if we love Jesus, it should hurt and anger us to see Him misrepresented."

Except that the book makes no such claim. And if you think about it, parts of the Bible, when taken out of context, can also be said to "misrepresent" God. Look at the Old Testament, and notice that God is portrayed as vengeful and vindictive, and that his people prayed to him to vanquish their enemies, and contrast that to the New Testament, which contains the story of how Jesus Christ was sent to Earth to save God's people - God is portrayed as loving and forgiving.

"Secondly, and I know this is unbelievable, but a lot of people WILL believe that this movie is telling the truth. For their sake, we cannot simply ignore this and allow people to be led into error."

I doubt that a lot of people will take this to be the truth, and secondly, "othercotting" the movie and refusing to discuss it with people IS ignoring it. If you are really so concerned about people being led into error and taking the movie/book as fact, how does watching another movie address that?

"Thirdly, people cannot use art (and/or freedom of the press, as we've seen in recent days) as an excuse to smear or misrepresent religion - ANY religion."

Ok, but as I said above, it makes no claims on accurate representation.

And I hardly see how "othercotting" the show actually addresses the problems that she identifies with dialogue and/or with boycotting the film.

Anyway, I've watched the movie, and it's disappointing. Some parts relating to Da Vinci's paintings and all have been left out, which makes it feel like the plot is somewhat incomplete, and the on-screen chemistry between Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou is terrible. The book is way more engrossing. That being said, if you've read the book, you know that it is pretty visual, and the movie does a decent job of depciting the places that the book is set in. Other than that, the movie is largely forgettable. In fact, even though I read the book over a year ago, I remember it better than the movie, which I watched ust last week.

Updates

2006-05-13T12:59:00.000-04:00

It’s been a month, and this post is long overdue. Exams are over, results are in, and summer school has started. So much has happened, but I’ve been so caught up in work for exams, and so tired after, that I just did not feel like blogging.

So, right where I left off then, the rest of my exams went by without incident, and I managed to pull through ok. I was told that in the Electrical Engineering programme in McGill you get to go through all the toughest courses on offer at McGill. The first proof of that was my introductory course to Java. Even after curving, the class average was a C+, and 25% of the class failed. Yes, that’s right. A quarter of the students got less than 50% overall. And for us engineering students, a pass isn’t sufficient – you need at least 55% or higher. I just can’t wait for what lies ahead.

But that’s over with, and I had 10 days before summer school started, so I spent most of my time packing up my room, and looking for a new apartment for next year. In all, I looked at almost 10 places, and I’ve managed to find one that I’m really happy with. I’ve decided to live alone because I’ve had enough of the community-living business, and also because I’ve never really had a room of my own, except for the 6 months after I completed NS. The lease begins in June, after summer school, and I’ll have to furnish the place on my own, which sounds like fun.

Right now, summer school takes up the first half of the day, four days a week. It’s effectively condensing 4 months of work into 4 weeks, but since I have only one course, it seems manageable so far. Midterms are next week, and finals are at the end of the month.

Back home, Singapore recently held it General Elections, and for the first time, overseas voting was allowed. There were a grand total of 8 overseas polling stations in 6 countries worldwide, and overseas votes were only counted AFTER election results were announced. While I understand that because of the number of votes and the margin of victory for the PAP, overseas votes wouldn’t affect the outcome of the elections, I believe that only including them in the total vote tally after the elections serves only to undermine their value. It’s more about the principle behind it than anything.

There’s been lots of election commentary available online, and I do believe that these elections have only served to highlight how slanted the ST’s coverage of local politics can be. An insider’s view is available here. Cherian George has some really good stuff on his blog, and so does Yawning Bread, Mr Wang and SG Rally, to name but a few. The elections seemed pretty exciting this time round, and I wish I was back in Singapore, just so that I could attend some rallies even though my GRC was not contested.

Meanwhile, there is quite a significant challenge in Canada regarding the independence and impartiality of our judicial system which could have significant ramifications. The issue is well covered at by Yawning Bread here, and by Mr Wang here. There is also an article in the IHT which I feel is pretty balanced here.

I have yet to get my ticket back home, which I should be doing in the next week. Looking forward to all the food when I get back, and to meeting up with my friends and seeing my family again. I guess I’ll end here, because I don’t really have much else to say, but I should be blogging more often now that I have the time.

Getting it off my chest

2006-04-12T17:52:00.000-04:00

It's smack in the middle of exams, and I have a programming final that I'm not prepared for tomorrow, but I just have to blog now. I am pissed with McGill Admin. Very very pissed. Allow me to explain.

I had my first final today, it was for Calculus, and it was held in the McConnell Engineering Building. The way it works is that you're told what building your final is held, and you go there on the day itself to find out where exactly the room your exam is. Rooms are allocated by surname, because some rooms are not big enough to fit all the students. So I go to school half an hour early to find out that the administration has brilliantly only allocated rooms for people with surnames up to the letters "Lud". So those of us whose surnames come after those letters all go to the biggest venue, and ask the invigilator there where we are supposed to go. And she has no clue.

Nevermind that, she asks us to wait, and she'll let us in, IF she has space. So there's half the course waiting outside your exam room, 15 minutes before the exam, and you've been told that we have ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE to go to take the exam, and all you do is ask us to wait.

Why can't you do the proactive thing and help us find out where we're supposed to go? You are an invigilator after all. And to add to that, you have this brilliant idea of asking the students, who are waiting to take the exam, to go to FDA 6, and speak to the people there to find out where we are supposed to go. You tell us this at 1:55pm, after we have been standing there for 10 minutes. Couldn't you have told us earlier? To add to that, there are 2-3 invigilators in your room, doing absolutely nothing, seeing how the exams have already been placed on the tables, and you can't even show us where this fucking room is? Don't you think, that as the people sitting for an exam, the least you could do for us is to speak to whoever organised the damn thing? No, instead we have to fix something that the admin messed up on, 5 minutes before our exam.

Maybe I'm being hard on the invigilators, but, they weren't doing anything, the exam hadn't started, and there were 3 of them in the room. Surely, at least one could have gone to FDA 6 to report the situation. Or at least show one of us where the bloody room was. And, we came 15 minutes before to let you know, and you had to wait till 5 minutes before the damn thing to tell us to go to FDA 6.

Going further up chain, I fail to see how the admin failed to realise that yes, people's surnames DO begin with letters after L. Let's do our ABC's shall we? M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z. That's 14 letters, MORE THAN HALF the alphabet. How could you not notice? And if you did have the list of students and the course enrollment, wouldn't you have realised that there was a shortfall in the number of spaces allocated?

I had to keep all that in me for 3 hours as I took my exam, so it feels good to get it all out.

Alright, back to studying now.

Exams

2006-04-07T01:22:00.000-04:00

I am royally screwed. Exams end in two weeks (no, not begin. Exams begin a week from now), and I haven't even started studying yet. And I still have assignments due. Shit. Am also feeling almost burnt out, because since reading week (3rd week of Feb), I have not had a single weekend where I could completely unwind. My profs like to have assignment deadlines on Fridays, Sundays and Mondays, and they like to release new assignments the moment old ones are due i.e programming - assignment due Monday at 11:55pm, new assignment up Tuesday 0:00am. Yay! My thoughtful profs gave me a whole 5 minutes of rest.

Since the fourth week of Feb, I've had to write 2 papers, complete 6 physics assignments and 3 lab reports, 3 programming assignments, 3 calculus assignments, take 2 midterms, write 1 in-class essay, give an oral presentation and come up with a business proposal. On top of reading for political science, which of course I did not do because I had no time. All this on top of going to class. In 6 weeks. I didn't even realise it was that much until I wrote it all down just now.

What the hell is wrong with McGill Admin anyway? Why can't we have just 1 week between the end of classes and the start of exams? Who in their right minds has classes up till the day before exams start? No time to think about all that right now. Time to haul ass, get my assignments done, and start studying, before I collapse from exhaustion on the 20th, only to send myself back to the grind on May 1.

And I remember being told JC would be the toughest time of my academic life. No way in hell does it compare to this.

Hard work

2006-03-19T08:38:00.000-05:00

We've always been told hard work comes before success, that it is necessary for us to work hard so that we can harvest the fruits of our labour. But hard work does not guarantee success, and working hard and not having anything to show for it becomes tiring, and seems pointless. Yet despite this, we risk failure because of the potential rewards of working hard. So what happens when we don't get to reap the fruits of our labour?

Technically speaking, my Java midterm wasn't the first time I've failed something. But as far as I can remember, this is most probably the first time that I've actually put work into an exam and failed it. The year and a half in JC when I failed practically every single test I took doesn't count - I barely studied for those common tests, and when I did bother to knuckle down and get to work, the results soon followed.

So there is disappointment, but more than that, there is a little of bit of concern because I actually did put in work for this exam. Sure, the average was 56%, but that's scant consolation, because that's like saying "Well, everyone is mediocre too, so don't worry if you didn't do too well". Yeah, well, sure. If everyone did badly, I did badly too, and in fact, I did worse than the average, so how is that supposed to make me feel better? Not only am I bad just like everyone else, I'm even worse. So please, don't feed me that crap. Class averages are not an excuse for failing. And even if they are, the average is not a failing one.

But as I said before, what concerns me more than anything is that I studied for the stupid thing, and I actually came out of it thinking it wasn't too bad. Until they released the solutions the next day. I looked through them once, and went "Oh fuck." So I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do. There is work to be done, and the only way to get better at programming is to program more. Except I don't have the time - I have other courses to take care of too, not to mention the assignments for this course which take ages to complete anyway. And this course is a pre-req for my degree, so I can't afford to screw it up.

I do recognise that there is still time, and that it's not the final grade and all, but I don't know if I'll be able to find the time to play catch-up in a course that I've consistently tried to keep up in. Which was the whole point of being consistent in the first place - so I didn't have to play catch-up again. Now that that's not working, I have a problem.

Hopefully, I can come up with a solution.

Hopefully.

2006-03-09T09:27:00.000-05:00

I think I grapple more with why it means so much to me now, when it didn't in the past. Why I feel the way I do, when deep down, I think I still don't really see what the point of it all is, when there is a feeling that I probably could get by with less. Why I have more trouble dealing with my own expectations than the expectations others have of me.

Does it really matter?

2006-03-08T22:30:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. Why I continuosly choose to set expectations for myself, and then come out disappointed, and feeling really stupid. Feeling that all that work has been a waste. It would be so much easier to go back to when I really didn't care. But that was when things didn't really matter.

In the bigger scheme of things, they probably don't matter as much as I think they do. But that's how it always is isn't it? When you look back at what mattered to you in the past, more often than not, you still get by even if you didn't succeed at what mattered to you way back when. So maybe all I have to do is scale down my expectations, and avoid all of this - the feeling lousy, and stupid, and the questioning of what I'm doing, whether I really want to do it, and whether I'm actually even cut out for this. The distinct and unshakeable feeling that it's probably just beyond my reach; that 2 years of neglect is just too much to overcome. The gut feel that maybe I'm just looking for excuses when there are none.

If I've always believed, and still believe that my grades everything, then why do they matter so much? Maybe they matter more to me than I'd like to admit. Maybe the belief that grades define a person is more ingrained in me than I thought. And yet I don't judge people by the grades, and I never have. I guess the standards I set for myself are just different.

Maybe it is time to re-evaluate those standards.

Revisiting some lessons learnt

2006-02-07T16:22:00.001-05:00

Sometimes we forget the lessons we have learnt, even if we leant them under some of the most difficult circumstances we have encountered. The principles and insight we have gained from our experiences can be so easily forgotten if we forget to remind ourselves of them.

When I was serving in the Army, I saw first hand how quickly situations could change. A minor detail could be the sole determinant of success or failure. Because there were many minor details in addition to the large ones, you could never cover all your bases. You planned for days in advance, meticulously formulating possible scenarios and responses, but you always knew, somewhere down the line, despite all the planning, something would screw up somehow. So you told yourself you were as prepared as you could be, but you also knew that on the simulated (after all, the SAF is all about wayang is it not?) battleground, you would have to improvise and react to unexpected situations.

Occasionally, pleasant surprises would come your way, and the objectives would be more easily accomplished than you expected. More often than not however, things would not go according to plan. And it was in situations like these that I saw how even the greatest of obstacles could be overcome. The way you and your section, platoon or company responded to the situation at hand largely determined success or failure. At the end of the day, the one thing that determined whether objectives were met was not how many situations you had anticipated. It was not how much and how well you planned. It wasn’t whether or not you had trained well. It was not whether or not everyone did what they were supposed to do. These things all contributed to overall success or failure, but they were not the crucial factor on which success or failure hinged upon.

That crucial factor was how you, your section, your platoon, your company and your commanders reacted to adverse situations. When the shit hits the fan, all your planning and preparation goes out the window. You either lose it completely because you no longer have a viable plan of attack, or you regroup and reconsider your options. Needless to say, losing it completely was a sure way to fail your mission. So a large part of our training was focused on working under pressure, when things seemed to go wrong at every turn. You had to believe that the obstacles could always be overcome, that even when things kept going wrong, you had to soldier on. Because somewhere down the line, something would give, and you would get the lucky break that you needed.

Just as situations could turn for the worse on minor details, they could quickly start to look up again. It was important that when you had those breaks, you were in a position to leverage on them, because failure could very quickly turn to success. To be able to take advantage of minor shifts in the situation, you had to stay positive. This was difficult to do alone, and so it was up to everyone to help each other. But there can be no basis for collective belief if there is none at the level of individuals – you could only be encouraged if you had wanted to be encouraged. So it was up to each individual soldier to believe that the odds could be overcome, no matter how difficult the circumstances. This was how victory could be snatched from the jaws of defeat.

Sometimes, in life, you are put in a similar position. You come face to face with obstacles so daunting you question whether or not you really are up to the challenge. Faced with these kinds of situations, you have 2 responses, very similar to the ones I mentioned above. You let your fatigue get to you, and you ask yourself whether or not it makes more sense to shirk the challenge – after all, it would definitely be easier to just avoid it. What is the point of continuing if you probably will not succeed? When at every turn, you have to dig so deep just to survive, you question your ability to stay the course, and consider changing tack.

Or you regroup and reconsider your options. You remember that you had to overcome obstacles to get to where you already are, and you remind yourself that to turn back now would be to waste all the effort that you’ve put in so far. So you carry on, because you know, somewhere down the road, that little shift in momentum will come, and if you manage to seize it, things will quickly look up.

I got so lost in the intensity of school the past 2 weeks; I completely lost sight of my bearings. Incessant deadlines for assignments, papers, research and projects coupled with the weight of my own expectations caused me to question my abilities, my motivation, my belief and my expectations. I temporarily forgot the lessons that I had learnt, which I thought I would not forget. I lost sight of my own principles and beliefs, and I forgot what I myself had told others countless times. I have humbly been reminded of them, thanks to the care and concern of those around me. So now I am doing my part – revisiting the lessons that I’ve learnt from my past experiences, and reminding myself not to forget them.

Questions

2006-02-05T21:02:00.000-05:00

It has been 10 days since the last post. I wanted to blog about the elections in Canada. I wanted talk about the upcoming elections in Singapore, the indifference, and overseas voting. I have wanted to blog in a long time. And I have a lot to say. But inevitably, school, and the work associated with it always gets to me. I spent 7 hours on an essay about liberalism last weekend, and this weekend, I spent half a day programming, and another day working on my physics assignments. And those damn assignments are still not completed.

When you have spend a disproportionate amount of time on assignments every weekend, it's hard not to question whether you really shoule be doing this, and whether or not 2 and a half years on inactivity is just too much for your brain to shake off. I told myself I needed time, that the neurons would start firing again. After 5 months, I'm not so sure anymore. When you spend over half a day trying to figure out 5 or 6 problems, you begin to wonder whether you really are cut out for this, and whether you really want to do this after all. Geeky as it sounds, I actually would like some time to myself just so that I can spend time reviewing my work, and I simply can't find the time for even that.

Maybe university life is supposed to be like that, maybe I'm expecting too much of myself. But I see people around me squeezing out enough time out of their busy schedules. And isn't lowering your expectations a sort of escapism? It's so ironic how I used to worry so much less about my work when I didn't bother with it. I used to be able to pick things up quickly, and come to grips with what was required of me. Not anymore. Maybe not yet, maybe I do indeed still need time to shake off the years of unuse. But maybe not ever is also a possibility.

It's still only the first year, and I might still be adjusting, but the knowledge that next year is supposed to be the hardest in my 4 year program is not at all encouraging. I know my posts recently have been really whiny/angsty. I don't want to feel like this, but for 2 weekends in a row now, I revisit the whole "do I REALLY REALLY want this?" and "am I actually cut out for this?" phase.

The self-confidence that I used to have is shaken, and seems to be disappearing. It might not look like it from the outside, but it sure feels like it is just evaporating away every week. I'm not sure of anything anymore. Unsure about my abilities, unsure about my expectations and whether I can fulfill them. I'm not even sure about how I feel about this whole thing anymore - whether my fears and, dare I say it, insecurities, are even founded. Or is this much ado about nothing?

So many questions, so little answers. And absolutely no time at all to try to figure it out.

Back to computing now.

Walking on ice

2006-01-21T11:24:00.000-05:00

Montreal has freakish weather. Since coming here, I have encountered 30 degree heat in the summer, 40cm of snow, -20 degree cold, and wind chill that brings that down to –30. It gets so cold that the moisture on your palms freezes the moment you touch any metal door handles when opening doors and your breath freezes on your collars. But the most intense weather phenomenon has got to be freezing rain.

Basically, freezing rain occurs when precipitation starts out as snow. The snow passes through warm air and melts completely. It then passes through a thin layer of cold air just before it hits the surface. While passing through, it cools to below freezing point, but doesn’t freeze. The super-cooled rain drops then freeze upon impact with the ground.

Freezing rain hit Montreal overnight on Tuesday, 9pm, turning into rain on Wednesday morning, 4am, wrecking havoc in downtown Montreal. If you want an idea of how slippery it was, go take an ice cube from your fridge and hold it with 2 fingers. Not too difficult right? Then wet the ice cube, and try to hold it with two fingers. The freezing rain laid down a layer of ice all over downtown that was an inch thick. When it turned into normal rain, it conveniently washed away all the grit laid on the pavements and roads.

Roads had to be closed, bus routes were disrupted and some schools were closed. McGill wasn’t one of them, but I’ll get back to that later. Cars struggled to find traction on the slick surface, even on level roads. All of Rue University above Sherbrooke was closed as there were cars that were just sliding back down that road, which slopes upwards On Sherbrooke and University, a car floundered in the middle of the intersection while making a left turn. The driver had to keep revving his engine to keep from sliding back into the cars behind him, and a police officer has to slide over to push the car from behind just so it could actually make the turn. Up on Peel and des Pins, firemen had to set up ropes so that pedestrians could cross the road without sliding down the sloping roads. Pedestrians were slipping and sliding all around, some (including me) getting on all fours just to avoid falling down.

For those of you who have not been to Montreal before, McGill’s campus is partially located on an incline, and the Residences are located on top of a hill. It was a wonder that people actually bothered to brave the slopes of University above des Pins to get to school. And this is where the ranting starts.

Given the treacherous conditions, I have no idea why the McGill administration did not cancel classes for the day on Wednesday. Of the 800 – 1000 or so students living in Upper Residence, I have no idea how many decided to actually go to class. My friends who did told me that once you started down that slope, you just slid right down, and the only way to stop yourself was to fall. So fall they did. Almost everyone fell on the way to school, and my Prof for my 8:30am Calculus class came in late, telling us that he had fallen 3 times on the way.

If Rue University had to be closed until 11am because cars couldn’t get up, surely, the school’s administration could not have expected people to actually walk down the slope to their classes. And if all the roads leading to upper campus were impassable to vehicles, how did they expect pedestrians to be able to make it to class? Granted, it could be done, but at great risk to the students. The Montreal Gazette reported on Thursday that there were 14 minor bus accidents all over Montreal, and by 11am, the ambulance service had logged over 400 calls, twice the number it normally receives in a day.

Given that McGill has this habit of sending belated E-mails about class cancellations and the like, the very least they could have done was to send out a similar E-mail warning students of the conditions in the morning if they didn’t cancel class. Or they could have at least informed students of the road closures. It might have been a little late, but some sort of response from the administration would have been better than nothing. But there was not even a mention of anything when I checked the University website at about 10 that morning. It was as if the weather outside was completely normal. It was not. And we should have been told. The lack of any response, however uncoordinated and however late, is a indicator of shoddy, sub-par administration.

On Ave des Pins and Rue Peel, firefighters set up ropes to help pedestrains cross the road.

Uncertain

2006-01-15T22:01:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder if I’m holding on to something that is no longer there anymore. Maybe I only saw what I wanted to see, and maybe now I see things for what they really are. Or maybe I’m just over-analysing things. Of late, I have become rather unsure of myself. Uncertain about where my place is, about where I stand, about what I see, and about what I know.

Which partially explains the recent lack of blog posts. I type something out halfway, and then I read it and think to myself, “Do I really want to say this?” or “Is that what I really want to say?” and the blog post is abandoned. Having talked about things with people curtails the urge for me to blog. Sometimes, the mere act of typing my thoughts out onto a screen is enough. I don’t feel the need or the urge to actually post what I write.

But I digress. I see this never-ending flood of work that comes in every week, and wonder to myself why I even bother sometimes. Why is it that now, when I actually decide that doing my work is important, and when I do actually get down to doing it, I find it so much harder? It seemed so much easier before, when I just left work undone. Back then, even though I hardly touched my homework and didn’t know what was going on in half my classes, I actually felt somewhat intelligent. Now, I actually know what’s going on in all my classes, but I detect in my mental faculties a lack of sharpness.

It could be that now, I actually know what I don’t know. I used to satisfy myself that I could not expect myself to know anything since I didn’t do any work whatsoever. So maybe now that I actually am keeping up, I expect myself to know everything. I never used to be like that. It could be due to the demands of the school calendar; there is no time to catch up since exams start right after the last day of school.

Underlying all this is the nagging feeling that intellectually, I just don’t feel I’m at my best, and I struggle to find a way to rediscover the form that I once had. I even fear that might not even be possible anymore. To add to all this, I honestly have no clue how I should even go about trying to find that form again. My mind feels dull, and though the academic results seem to indicate otherwise (for now at least), I feel I am capable of better, and my inability to rediscover my best frustrates me.

Coherence escapes me, and my readings on liberalism beckon, so it’s back to work. Again.

Back to school

2006-01-04T15:45:00.000-05:00

As I begin to slowly settle back into school, I'm both excited and apprehensive. Excited because there are lots of interesting courses that I'm doing, and yet apprehensive because all of the courses I'm enrolled in require lots of work. There are no public holidays this school term, not a single one, and so we have a one week "spring" "break" in February, "spring" because spring in Montreal isn't really spring - January and February are the coldest months in a year, and "break" because, well, there are no classes. But not having classes doesn't mean that you don't have loads of readings, assignments, papers due and midterms right after.

It is only the 2nd day of school, and I already have deadlines for 3 assignments, 3 papers, an oral presentation and a group project. Not to mention the labs, tutorials and reading for class. And most of the profs in my classes have decided that posting new assignments every week or so is the "in" thing, and have decided they want to be cool and funky too. And who could forget the final examinations. Whoo-hoo.

On the other hand, part of me is, for reasons not very apparent to me, quitely confident that I will manage all of this somehow. Maybe it's because with almost all my first sem grades in, I'm doing alright. Not fantastic, but not too shoddy either. So if I've done it once before, I probably could do it again. But just because I've done something before, doesn't necessarily mean that I'd like or want to do it again. Then again, I don't have all that much of a choice.

I'm probably just over thinking things, but that's what this place is for. Catharsis. I just need to vent.

I'm not all that coherent today, and if you're confused by me, well, that's the point. That's exactly how I feel. Confused.

2006

2006-01-01T23:00:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year Everyone!

I haven't blogged in the last 3 weeks or so of December 2005 mainly because my brain just shut down after the madness that is McGill final exams. Anyway, just to update, I went to Quebec City and Ottawa to relax after exams. Quebec City was really pretty and really cold, pictures are up on the flickr account. Ottawa was boring, and had a rather British feel to it. Not many interesting photos from that trip, so I didn't post them on my account.

Christmas was spent in Montreal, went to St Patrick's Basilica for mass on Christmas Eve, and it was the nicest Christmas mass I've been to. Christmas dinner was beef rendang, grilled salmon and some nice rose wine. Not quite the traditional Christmas eve dinner with Grandma's cooking, but close enough. Snow on Christmas night made it really beautiful, and a white Christmas to remember.

Laksa for dinner on New Year's Eve, and went to Old Montreal to catch fireworks to usher in the new year. The fireworks display was really nice, and it was pretty cold too, so didn't hang around too long to indulge in the revelry.

So 2005 has come and gone and it has been a pretty good year. ORD'ed in May (ahhh, the smell of freedom is oh-so-sweet), went over to McGill at the end of August, and now have completed my first term of University. Not all my grades for the term are in yet, but I'm doing alright.

Hopefully, as school picks up again my brain will too, and I'll blog a little more frequently. But then again, my course load is a little heavier next sem, so I will have to see how things go. I will try. I promise. I know some of you come here quite frequently, so I'll try my best to keep this blog updated.

Breather

2005-12-11T01:09:00.000-05:00

And so it is almost over. 3 papers in 4 days, and a 12 day break before my last final exam to write. After more than a week of endless revision, it feels nice to be able to take my time to prepare for my last final exam.

What really got to me about having 3 finals to write in the 1st 4 days of the examination period, which started the weekend after the term ended, was that there was no time at all to review my material. Despite me being consistent in my work, I still felt unprepared for the finals I had to write. Of course, profs doing a half-baked job of explaining new concepts in class on Friday, just before the final on Monday did not help.

For now, I am just glad it is almost over. And also a little impatient to get my results. I don't want to wait to find out where I stand. The university's grading system makes getting an A really quite demanding in my opinion, but then again, I might just be saying that because I'm still new to everything, and in the process of adapting to a new system. And yet, I do not think that getting that A is beyond my ability, or at least I don't think so now. I want to know if I'm good enough currently, and if I'm not, I want an indication of how much more it's going to take.

And to all those people who've told me that JC and the A levels are the toughest time of your academic life, I have to say I'll reserve my judgement for now. I need to have an indication of where I stand before I can say whether that is true or not. Having been out of school for so long, I have no idea how to gauge my academic abililty anymore.

But enough about school for now. There is now breathing space, and a trip to Quebec City might be in the works. I know I said I'd post photos of winter and snow up, and I'm a little behind on that. Photos should be up in another day or 2. If I do go to Quebec City, I'll try to take photos in the -15 degree cold.

Update

2005-11-27T20:54:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged in a bit, mainly because, well, I just haven't felt the urge to do so in a while. Maybe it's because of school, and the work that I have to do just to keep up. Itsd draining to be working everyday, and still find out that it's barely enough. How my standards have changed. Barely enough used to be all that I needed to do. Now I find my classes fun and interesting, and at the same time so rushed. I find my study time ineffective, and I get the sense that I'm not really learning well. The profs all seem more intent on completing what they have to now, before the exams begin, and wonderful scheduling that McGill has, school ends on the 2nd of december, and exams start on the 5th.

But, enough of the whining about the daily grind. I will live through this, somehow, as I always do, and I'll deal with it as it comes. On a more interesting note, the first snowfall came and went, all of two weeks ago (I think). It's been below zero all day for a week or so now, and winter hasn't even officially started yet.

Brian Greene came to McGill on the 21st of November, and gave a lecture about the state of string theory. Very interesting stuff, go here for a look.

Pictures of the snow will follow soon, probably after my finals. Updates will be infrequent till then. To those who come here regularly, sorry ah. Been busy, and some of you probably know why. =p

I am that boy

2005-11-07T13:57:00.000-05:00

I am that boy whom you used to have to take for walks at night, just so that I could see her come home from work.

I am that boy whom was always told I had to set an example because I was the oldest one.

I am that boy who got so frustrated with hearing you saying that, because I was not always the one in the wrong, that I shouted at you one day.

I am that boy who was given a hand-crafted rocking horse, flown all the way from Bradford, England, which is still around the house today.

I am that boy who was locked out, alone in the corridor in the middle of the night, who had you asking for me to be let into the house again.

I am that boy who remembers the many times you brought me to the biscuit shops across the road all those years ago.

I am that boy who remembers you bringing me to the playground to play on the slide and the merry-go-round.

I am that boy who always looked forward to Easter, when I would always get a Cadbury's Caramel Egg from you.

I am that boy who wondered why you stopped taking me to the playground and why you didn't buy me biscuits anymore.

I am that boy who remembers how sad it made you to see him suffering like that.

I am that boy who knows how moved you are every time you hear "How Great Thou Art".

I am that boy who began secondary school hating it, and came home complaining about it every day.

I am that boy who had the time of my life in that very same school.

I am that boy who had, and still has, the greatest friends that I'll ever have from those times.

I am that boy, who never really appreciated how wonderful it was, until it was almost over.

I am that boy who is probably your favourite grandchild, though you would not admit, and I know because you always offer to buy me breakfast on Saturdays.

I am that boy who everyone says is cynical, but yet holds on to my ideals.

I am that boy who did so well, you probably expected more of me.

I am that boy who did not want to disappoint you, but probably did anyway.

I am that boy who was so impressed with how you could still remember so much, and how you could offer me help, that I'd always tell my friends about it.

I am that boy who probably has never told you how much I admire your drive and motivation, and how I sometimes wish I could work as hard as you did when you used to come back from work tired, have your dinner and take a nap, before waking up to pick her up and then come back to finish up your work before going to bed at 2, and waking up at 6:30 again the next morning.

I am that boy who wanted to say sorry and talk about things, but never found a time to do so.

I am that boy who talked to my friends instead, and from talking to them realised how much you were doing, and how difficult it must have been for you.

I am that boy who should have found a time to tell you all this, but never did.

I am that boy who was still surprised that you managed to get all of them to come, without my knowledge, and didn't really say thank you.

I am that boy who really really appreciates the fact that all of you made it, and that you guys came and stayed the night with me.

I am that boy who told you that it'd be ok if I went alone, but was actually hoping that you would come along.

I am that boy who was glad that you did decide to come along, but never got the chance to tell you so.

I am that boy who never really got to say a proper good-bye, to tell you to take care of yourselves, and not to worry about me.

I am that boy who doesn't want to disappoint you again, but sometimes worries that it might be beyond my ability.

I am that boy who really appreciates the opportunity given to me, but probably has not told you before.

I am that boy, who now is where I am today because of all that you've all done for me.

I am that boy who wants to say thank you, for everything that you've all done, and sorry, for the things that I shouldn't have done.

I am that guy, I am that friend.

I am that boy, I am that grandson.

I am that son.

More photos

2005-10-31T21:46:00.000-05:00

New photos up.

Went up to Mont Royal on the weekend, and have a couple of photos, which I have just uploaded. Daylight savings has ended, and it snowed overnight about a week ago. Not much to say, still have work and midterms to do, and I'm getting into gear now. Finals in a month, so it's back to work.

Nonsense

2005-10-22T20:46:00.002-04:00

I've not had much time to collect my thoughts before putting them down here, but I post out of habit. Maybe I shouldn't. But then again, it's not as if I have nothing that I want to say. I just can't think of a way to contextualise what I want to say, or how to put it down in words, or whether or not I even want to put them down here right now. I will do it. Eventually.

This will have to do for now though.

Things aren't always as bad as they are made out to be, and they rarely are as good as they are hyped up to be either. We need to bear in mind the perpectives of the people giving us their views, and to try to objectively evaluate what they are saying. Sometimes, the best way to do this is to try something for yourself, but when you decide to do that, you should not burden yourself with the expectation that things will turn out for you they way they turned out for other people. They just might, but they could just as easily turn out different. We just have to keep that in mind.

The beauty about all this is that it doesn't even have to make sense to anyone.

A friendly little chat

2005-10-14T13:46:00.000-04:00

We often like to complain about how we are always so busy with work, about how there are numerous deadlines to meet and exams to take. We worry about seeing the school year through, and then we proceed to worry about where we are going to go next for the holidays. We remark about how competitive life is, and about how we still have to find well-paying jobs, and start participating in the mindless monotony that is working life. And yet, so very often, we fail to recognise how fortunate we are that we can afford to worry about these kinds of things.

I had a little chat with one of the housekeepers today. He asked if I was Vietnamese, and I told him I was Singaporean. We spoke, at first in English, and then a couple of sentences in Mandarin, before I told him that I could speak Cantonese too.

He's been in Canada for almost 20 years now, and he's from Vietnam. He fled Vietnam as a politcal refugee, went to Malaysia and stayed in a refugee camp for 10 months before arriving in Canada. He managed to get a job after arriving, but the company he worked for closed down after 7 years, and so he worked in the food services at McGill. After 13 years, McGill food services decided to let him go as they could find cheaper alternatives. So now he's working as a housekeeper in my residence. He's got a family to support and to care for, so to make ends meet, he works Mondays to Fridays in the dorm, and on his weekends off, he works another job.

Despite all that he's had to face, his outlook on life is so cheerful and optimistic. He says life is only tough if you tell yourself that it is. It's so very true, and the message is really resonant when it comes from someone who has had so much thrown at him already.

So the next time I think that school and work is getting to me, that my life is difficult and complicated, I'll be thinking of him, and how if it isn't tough for him, it sure as hell shouldn't be for me.

21

2005-10-11T10:15:00.000-04:00

I am now legal in the US.

So much has happened since the last time I blogged I have no idea where to start. I've just emerged from the Thanksgiving weekend after a killer week in school. Had an essay due on Tuesday, assignments due on Wednesday and Friday, and a midterm on Thursday. So I spent the week rushing through my work to find time to prepare for my midterm.

For all that I say about how we need to know what is important, we also have to recognise that if your priorities aren't the same as everyone else's, you have to be prepared to pay a price for that difference in opinion and perception. And if you deem that too much to pay, you then have to succumb to the system that you function in.

What really irked me about the past week was that I've been busy keeping up with my work and classes so that this would NOT happen, and yet it did, and I could do nothing about it. Having to rush through everything just so that you have enough time to get even more studying done just ain't fun. I don't like to push the fast forward button when I'm learning, and I believe that at this level, the motivation for learning should come from yourself, not the fact that you have deadlines to meet, midterms to take and grades to obtain.

The weekend brought just a little respite, as I still had to clear up more work that I put on hold because of the midterm and assignments, and I begin the week with even more deadlines to meet. It's so easy to get caught up rushing to meet 1 deadline after another, so I keep telling myself to remember why I'm here. At least I can't deny that my classes are interesting.

Some of my friends and I had a little get-together for dinner and a cake to celebrate my turning 21. It was small, simple and cozy affair, on Friday, a day after the actual date as I was in an exam hall on the evening of my birthday. It was nice though, and a word of thanks goes out to all you guys who did this little thing for me - it's greatly appreciated. Not forgetting those who got me on MSN or on my blog, or who sent me e-mails.

Anyway, so much for my week, I was just flipping through my organizer which I've had for almost 5 years now, and I came across a little something that I copied out oh-so long ago, and it was nice to read it all over again, if only because the mood was in such great contrast to the week I just had.

O, Tell Me the Truth About Love

Some say that love's a little boy,
And some say it's a bird,
Some say it makes the world go round,
And some say that's absurd,
And when I asked the man next-door,
Who looked as if he knew,
His wife got very cross indeed,
And said it wouldn't do

Does it look like a pair of pyjamas,
Or the ham in a temperance hotel?
Does it's odour remind one of llamas,
Or has it a comforting smell?
It is prickly to touch as a hedge is,
Or soft as an eiderdown fluff?
It it sharp or quite smooth at the edges?
O tell me the truth about love

Our history books refer to it
In cryptic little notes,
It's quite a common topic on
The transatlantic boats;
I've found the subject mentioned
In accounts of suicides,
And even seen it scribbled on
The backs of rail-way guides
Does it howl like a hungry Alsatian,
Or boom like a military band?
Could one give a first-rate imitation
On a saw or a Steinway Grand?
Is its singing at parties a riot?
Does it only like classical stuff?
Will it stop when one wants to be quiet?
O tell me the truth about love

I looked inside the summer-house;
It wasn't ever there:
I tried the Thames at Maidenhead,
And Brighton's bracing air
I don't know what the blackbird sang,
Or what the tulip said;
But it wasn't in the chicken-run,
Or underneath the bed
Can it pull extraordinary faces?
It is usually sick on a swing?
Does it spend all its time at the races,
Or fiddling with pieces of string?
Has it views of it's own about money?
Does it think Patriotism enough?
Are its stories vulgar but funny?
O tell me the truth about love

When it comes will it come without warning
Just as I'm picking my nose?
Will it knock on my door in the morning,
Or tread in the bus on my toes?
Will it come like a change in the weather?
Will its greeting be courteous or rough?
Will it alter my life altogether?
O tell me the truth about love

W.H Auden

What I would give to be able to see the world with child-like wonder all over again.

Introspection

2005-09-28T15:48:00.000-04:00

Nothing like 2 conversations with 2 good friends over 2 days to get you into a contemplative mood, and to destroy your motivation to study for the test tomorrow.

It has been a week of relection, somehow most of the conversations I've had the past week have been about lessons learnt and perspectives gained in life; about how life is, and how we'd like it to be. Kind of like a review on the first principles of life, the universe and everything.

X says:

thought that in uni and all that i won't meet this kinda characters... uni was pretty pleasant until he came along!

X says:

*yawn*

tim says:

it takes all sorts lah

tim says:

no such thing as " i thought i wouldn't meet this kind of people"

tim says:

there will always be this kind of people

X says:

true...

X says:

reality bites...

tim says:

yeah

tim says:

tell me abt it

tim says:

over here also got the kanjeong spider, everything also must write down types

X says:

how's your day?

X says:

serious ar!

tim says:

haha

tim says:

yes

X says:

wow...

tim says:

my day was ok though

X says:

thought they were pretty slack about studying

tim says:

not in mcgill at least

tim says:

it actually feels a bit like jc to be honest

tim says:

it's just that i've learn how to not let it bother me

X says:

same here

X says:

everyone's very very competitive here

X says:

a bit unpleasant sometimes, but i'm just happy cos i know what i want out of this whole uni thing..

tim says:

yeah

tim says:

it's the same everywhere lah

X says:

except for today cos of the project =) heh..

tim says:

but as u said, u need to know what u want out of the whole uni thing

X says:

gonna sleep it off, and tm's a brand new day =)

tim says:

yeah

X says:

i think it's something that's important to learn...

tim says:

true

tim says:

very true

X says:

if not you'll just be irritated, obsessively competitive and discontented your whole life

tim says:

the grades are important, but u reakky should be focusing on developing your thinking and stuff like that

tim says:

really i mean

X says:

yeah... how old are your classmates there?

tim says:

anywhere between 17-20\

tim says:

most are 18-19

X says:

that's quite young...

tim says:

yes

X says:

mature?

tim says:

not as mature as me

tim says:

haha

tim says:

that sounds damn arrogant

tim says:

but, aiyah, different background, different age, different experiences, so not too surprising lah

tim says:

some more we have to do NS

tim says:

at least not everyone is like that though

tim says:

there's this mexican guy i know, only 19, but he's pretty mature

X says:

true...i think NS was a good thing

tim says:

yes

X says:

Now, being thrown back into the company of 19 yr old girls can be quite disconcerting...

tim says:

haha

tim says:

actually NS can be a good or a bad thing lah

X says:

bordering on mildly disturbing even...

tim says:

depends on the persono

X says:

that's true too

tim says:

like i realise that i draw a lot of lessons from my NS, but i also realise that not everyone does

X says:

yup... that's cos you went into it with a good attitude

X says:

making the best out of a bad situation at least

tim says:

no so much a god attitude, but yeah

tim says:

the most out of a bad situation thing is right

X says:

as opposed to just passing time... its good

tim says:

yah, but to benefit from NS u had want to make the most out of it lah

X says:

not many do though...

X says:

anyway...i'm finally done!!!! =)))

tim says:

that's also true

tim says:

haha

tim says:

good lor

X says:

would u do it all over again if you had the chance?

X says:

NS, i mean

tim says:

if i had the chance or if i had the choice?

tim says:

different leh

tim says:

knowing what i got out of it, and looking at where i am now, i would say yes, i would want to do it again

tim says:

but if i didn't know how i'd turn out, i wouldn't be so sure

tim says:

it wasn't something that i wanted to do

X says:

yup...

X says:

learnt a lot of lesson and grown up quite a bit...

X says:

but most of them through painful experiences...

tim says:

true

X says:

anyway, i better go sleep... 8am class'll be a killer

tim says:

that's why i wouldn't be so sure, but, then again, sometimes u need to have painful experiences to learn things

X says:

yup...

tim says:

i think at the end of the day i'm just glad that i turned out better for it lah

X says:

yup...me too

tim says:

nevermind whether i enjoyed it or not, or whether i wanted to do it, or whether i would do it again if i was given the chance

X says:

i know you'll make the right choices!

tim says:

hahaha

X says:

and if you don't..well

tim says:

but what is the right choice?

X says:

life goes on =)

tim says:

is there ever such a thing as a right choice?

tim says:

i don't really agree with the concept of right and wrong choices

X says:

really?

X says:

maybe not for everything lar...

tim says:

we make choices

tim says:

and when u look back on them, ur judgement on whether they were right or wrong depends on what u made of your choice

tim says:

so logically, if make the most out of your choices, they will always be the "right" choice

tim says:

and u never know what would have happened if u chose to do something else.

tim says:

it might have been better, but it just as well could have been worse

X says:

hmmm....

X says:

that's an interesting way to look at it...

X says:

=)

The majority of my conversations this week went along lines like these, and to be honest, I do miss conversations like these that I used to have late into the night. A bit of introspection does us good once in a while.

The harsh reality of life, however, reminds me that I have a test to prepare for, so it's back to the books now.

A little out of focus please

2005-09-20T17:20:00.000-04:00

Sometimes we get so caught up in the here and now that we forget how we even got here in the first place. Focus gives one a good sense of direction, but just like in pictures, it tends to make you neglect what is right behind the object - the background to everything.

Lately I think have been too caught up in everything. A weekend spent doing mostly nothing has made that clear to me. I did little, and yet I enjoyed myself thoroughly. A walk up to Mount Royal last night helped a great deal too.

It is only the 3rd week of school, and I am already obsessing over recommended deadlines, and not mandatory ones. This despite the fact that the recommended deadlines can't really be met because our lecturer is going slowly. I am worried about entering my answers online, just because I "only" have 4 tries a question, and what if I can't get the answer right?

My friends over here have all remarked at how hard I work now, compared to when I was in JC, where I basically did no homework whatsoever in my first year, and I usually tell them about how I've become more responsible and mature now.

Have I really? Is it mature to worry about getting the answers right, when you should really be concerned about how you actually arrived at one? It's not the grades that matter, but the learning that goes on that does. In sharpening my focus, I have neglected that.

It doesn't matter if you get less than 100% on tests and assignments, what is important is that you learn, and that you'll be willing to try again the next time tests and assignments come along. Being a kan cheong spider is taxing and unproductive, and it saps you of your energy. That was why told myself that I wouldn't be one, and why I should remind myself that I don't want to become one.

A friend told me that in JC, unlike others around me, I seemed to have a big picture view on things, and that that was a good thing. I think it is, and so it is time to re-learn the lessons, concepts and principles that I tried to tell others about.

I'd rather see the world a little out of focus, with things blurry in places. It might not be as sharp, but at least I get to see everything. Better that than seeing a couple of things clearly, and missing out on everything and everyone else that is acutally right there, just behind the objects that hold our attention.

2005-09-19T01:23:00.000-04:00

I so should not be writing this at this hour now, but what the heck - having already wasted an entire weekend, what's a couple more hours right? I'll still try to keep this one short though - I need sleep for tomorrow.

Went to catch Russel Peters on Saturday, at the Place-des-Arts, and he was really quite funny. Having seen his clips before, I wasn't sure I was going to enjoy watching him as I thought he was ok-funny, but not really all that great. It turns out he is actually really quite funny. His show lasted somewhere around an hour, and he was really warmed up towards the middle of it, when he was hitting all the right notes with the audience. He struggled a little towards the last 10 minutes, but when he came back for his encore, he was pretty funny again. All in all, it was worth the ticket price, and my friends and I left with aching jaws.

The words are starting to fail me, and the brain is no longer active, so this is the end for now.

What are we to do?

2005-09-14T17:41:00.000-04:00

How did we end up here, in a country thousands of kilometres away from home, 2 and a half years after saying our good byes? Did we even expect to see each other that often after that? And how come we have so much fun together now, even while doing simple, everyday things?

It's nice to have good company here, people who already understand you, just because it makes you feel more comfortable in unfamiliar surroundings, and also because good company doesn't come by easily.

Our time here is limited, and therefore we treasure it, and yet, it is not in our long term interests to do so, for there are forks in the road ahead, and the paths that we have to take are not going to be the same. So what are we to do while we are on this common path?

Wordless

2005-09-08T22:39:00.000-04:00

I actually really like Montreal. There is a vibrancy and buzz about the place, people are friendly and very helpful, and well, I just feel happy being in it. It might be because I'm still new to the place, and the weather's been nice and warm (relatively speaking), and also because school is still only just starting. Or it might be that both my Singaporean friends are here now, so I always have people to hang out with. I've made a couple of friends, but it takes time for friendships to develop, and for people to get a feel for each other, so it helps that I have established friends here.

Being in Montreal and talking to people here has also made me realise that I can't really identify all that many things that I like about Singapore. There's my family and friends, and of course, food that is cheap and good, but that's about it. In Montreal, there are places to visit and things to do - parks to have picnics in, Old Montreal (which is really nice), film festivals to attend, museums to visit, and concerts to catch. Not that you can't do these things in Singapore, but somehow, there's just a good vibe about the place.

Maybe it's just the novelty of the place, I honestly do not know, but it feels really nice to be here. It's not as if things have been completely smooth sailing, but the place just feels... well, really nice.

There's just a good feel to the place, and for now at least, I really like the city.

Sometimes, the less said, the better. I'm really struggling to put down what I feel into words, and I have no idea why, so maybe I should just stop here.

Go away

2005-09-07T22:09:00.000-04:00

When a lecturer/tutor says that you should feel free to ask any questions, any questions at all, and he'll answer them, it's to tell you not to be afraid of clearing up your doubts. So, by all means, ask the question, even if it might sound stupid.

It is NOT however, the cue for you to:

ask questions that you already know the answer to, just so that your prescence will be acknowledged
ask questions that you already know the answer to, just to show that you've read ahead of the class
ask questions about material that hasn't been covered in class, just to show that you know more than you're supposed to

He asked for questions on stuff that he covered IN class, not questions about stuff that he's only going to cover in 2 weeks time.

So if you understand everything, fine and good. Shut up. Help others who have difficulty. Or just drop the class. I'm not interested in how you think this class is so easy it's a joke, or about how you already covered all this in your high school or at the A levels/French Bac/IB or what not. Keep it to yourself.

Green Day

2005-09-05T20:29:00.001-04:00

Went to catch Green Day's concert at Parc Jean Drapeau yesterday, and it was fantastic. They're really good live performers and can really play to the crowd. And Billie Joe, the band's frontman, invited 2 fans on stage to play the drums, the bass and the guitar; and at the end of it all, he let the guitarist keep his guitar! Being suah koo, law-abiding Singaporeans, me and my friend obeyed the no cameras allowed rule when actually they didn't check and lots of people brought their cameras along. So sorry, but got no photos to show. But anyway, the concert was a blast, and absolutely worth the C$53 that I paid for it. U2's coming down soon too, don't know how much that will cost, and don't even think we can get tickets, so probably not going to be able to catch them.

Anyway, my Singaporean friends have arrived, so at least I have some company now. Spent most of the weekend with one of them. I'm well aware of the need for me to meet new people and all that, but she's had a real torrid time getting here, so I've just been trying to help wherever I can.

School starts again tomorrow, I have some thoughts formulating at the back of my mind, but will leave the posting till they've become clearer.

Starting school

2005-09-02T15:25:00.000-04:00

The 2nd day of school is over for me, and I've got a long weekend as its labour day on Monday. Have gone for lectures for all of the classes that I'll be taking this term, so I've kind of got a taste of what is to come. My lecturers all seem ok, and some have even decided to spend the entire first lecture going through course outlines, expectations and the lot. One advantage of having gone to JC is that I've been through the lecture-tutorial system before, so I have a rough idea of how things work. Those fresh out of high school are encountering this system for the first time, and they're unfamiliar with how it all works.

Anyway, I've only had one lecture each for my geography, physics and 2 maths courses, but the homework has already been set for them. After having gone through most of JC 1 without doing much work, I wasn't too keen on falling behind and having to play catch-up all over again, so I decided to be conscientious and have a look at all my assignments, and attempt those questions which I could complete. Ok, so I decided to be a kiasu Singaporean nerd/mugger. But catch-up is not a fun game to play, really. In JC 2 I slogged like hell, and I don't want to have to do it again. At least not right at the beginning of university.

So I go online to get a hold of my physics assignment, and find out that I need the textbook to complete it. I haven't bought the textbook yet, because I was waiting for the used book sale, which takes place next week. So I can either wait for the sale before attempting my work, or I can get the book new and pay $138.95 before tax for it. I decide to take a look at my other assignments first.

The lecturer for my MATH133 class already handed out 2 printed assignments, so I decide to take a look at those. Then I realise I have absolutely no clue what the questions are talking about. The prof didn't go through much in the first lecture, just a demonstration of how to use matrices, so I either need to get the textbook and read ahead, or I can wait till it's covered in the lectures. So, nevermind, I still got 1 more maths class, I decide to clear that one first. So I go online, log in to the website and try to get my homework. But it seems my prof has put in another authorisation page. And my ID and PIN don't seem to be able to get me in. So no-go there too. E-mail the prof asking for help, and then look at my last remaining option, geography. But the geography assignment hasn't been handed out yet, and the prof only gave us an outline of what needed to be done for it, so I'm stuck with no work that can be done.

This is so not helping me in my bid to be a conscientious student. Ah well, heading out now to get some textbooks so I can get started on some work. I know, I am such a guai kia, but no choice, parents spent too much sending me here, even though I'm paying PR fees, so must make the most of it. NS has made me a lot more aware of the responsibilty on my shoulders.

Words of encouragement

2005-08-31T11:22:00.000-04:00

School starts tomorrow, and I'm more or less looking forward to it. I attended a faculty advising/intouduction session yesterday and got some info about my course, and some encouraging words from the chairman of the Electrical Engineering department.

"Welcome to the best Engineering faculty in the country... and among the top 5 or 6 in North America."

Ok lah, nothing much new there.

"Electrical Engineering is one of the toughest, if not THE toughest course in engineering."

"Bear in mind, this is a professional degree, so you can expect to typically put in anywhere between 42 to 54 hours a week on your work."

"In your first EE course, Fundementals of Electrical Engineering, there is, statistically a 30% failure rate among students... Look to your left, look to your right. Chances are one of the three of you are going to have to retake that course."

Ok...

"A lot of you are interested to find our more about entry into our honours programme... We take in only the best, as determined by your cumulative GPA... Every year we take in anywhere between 20-25 students for the honours programme."

Wah lan eh... I'm going to have to work my ass off to get into the honours programme lah. At that session, there were about 150 people or so in attendance, and it wasn't even compulsory, so there might be even more people in the EE programme. Got lots of work ahead of me.

And I still don't have a cellphone (as they call it here). To get one, they need to do a credit check, and I need to have a credit card which has been with me for more than 6 months. My card's only been with me for 3 months, I've got to either wait another 3 months, or wait for my friend to get here and ask her to let me use her card to sign up, and then transfer the bills to me after my card hits 6 months.

It's hard to make friends without a cellphone, when everyone is exchanging numbers, and the best you can offer is your msn contact. So I got to wait till Sept 5th at the earliest, when my friend gets here.

Some more shots of my room added to my flickr set, so you can see them if you want. Some new photos not in any sets in my photo stream as well. Got one of the photo collage that a few of my friends gave to me at the airport. My friends rock.

Photos

2005-08-29T22:37:00.000-04:00

Photos are up. Flickr only allows a user 3 sets if you're on a free account, so I compressed 3 sets into one. Might think of getting the pro account in future, though that costs US$24.95 a year. See how first, as I'm not too sure if I'll be taking too many pictures once school starts.

I need a screwdriver. The towel rack that I got from IKEA needs screws to be assembled. No surprise there. Then I find out it uses screws and so I need a screwdriver. Crap. I thought IKEA furniture uses that funny "allen" key thingy, and I thought that comes with the furniture. Now I got to go look for a screw driver.

Weekend at Niagara

2005-08-29T17:24:00.000-04:00

Said goodbye to the parents today, not very pleasant, but I'm glad that my good-byes are out of the way at last.

Went to Niagara Falls for the weekend with the parents, and also skipped both my orientation programmes in the process. Niagara was beautiful, though the area around the falls has changed lots from the last time I was there, which was over 10 years ago. There are now bright lights, flashy billboards and tacky amusement centres near the falls, and the place has a very Vegas-like feel to it. Fortunately, the place where the Falls are situated was relatively untouched. Crossed the American border to get a look at the falls from the other side, was a little bothersome as I had to wait almost a half hour to get my passport stamped.

Have pictures, but have to find out how to use my flikcr account before I can post a link on my blog. Working on it now, and trying to get everything up before Sept 1st, when term starts.

Check back soon for updates.

McGill: day 1

2005-08-25T23:59:00.000-04:00

Wake up and get ready to go to McGill. Pack everything into the car, but before we head for McGill, we look around the area for rooms for my parents for the next 2 nights. The area we are staying in, Laval, like Montreal, is fully booked. So the one of the front desks helps us to call around to find a room. Manage to get 1 in Dorval, which is beside the airport. It is about 25km from downtown Montreal, but it will have to do.

We get some brunch before heading to the university. When we reach, it is almost noon. Get the keys to my room and bring the stuff up. The room is tiny, even smaller than the room I had at home, which wasn't really that big to begin with. Oh well, my home for the next year at least. No wonder my friend tells me to get an apartment in the second year.

The room smells stale, and some of the furnishings are damaged, but it is liveable. Have stayed in worse conditions before, and what is important is that I have a private space, so I'll make do. Do a brief damage assesment, but do not fill out the form yet. It's only due next friday, so there's no real hurry. Head out with the parents to get bedding and pillows, because only a mattress is provided. Walk through the university to get to downtown. Some of the buildings look really old, and with their large wooden doors and stone walls, remind me of the UK.

Wander around downtown, and ask people where a good place to go to shop for bedding is. Come up with the name Linen Closet, so we head there. Spend $200 on bedding and pillows, and also hunt around for handphone (or cellphone, as it is called here) subscription plans. All the people we've met have been extremely helpful and very friendly, even though we don't speak French. I get the impression that these people take great pride in the fact that they are effectively billingual, and am impressed by the way they switch between the 2 languages so effortlessly.

Get back to the room, make the bed with some help from my mum, who has lived in Britain before, so she leaves me some tips and pointers. After that, head out, with the intention of getting dinner with my parents. However, I realise that my hall is having an evening barbeque, so I decide to stay and mingle instead. Say goodbye to my parents, and plan to meet them tomorrow.

Mix around with the crowd, get to know many people, and subsequently forgot a large number of their names. Do not meet anyone else from Singapore in my hall. No sight of anyone majoring in Engineering either. Mingle around for about 2 hours, floating around and talking to people. Nobody in particular that I instantly click with, but it's only the 1st time I'm meeting them. People are nice and friendly, and I'm thinking skipping orientation is not going to hamper my making friends al that much. I bet everyone who knows me is going to ask me, so I might as well say it - yes there are hot girls. Not all that many though, but at least there is eye candy.

Go up to my dorm at around 8pm. There's supposed to be an outing at 930, but I am quite tired, so try to decide whether to go. 920, and I decide, ah, what the hell, just go and take a look. Walk to downtown, and go to a pub. It has 2 levels, and we're supposed to go upstairs, but the owner says it's too crowded, and only allows a limited number of people up. Music is too loud, and like I said, don't really click with anyone, so I just flitter around. Meet a few more new people through people I got to know at the barbeque. Run into Alex and Emma, 2 girls whom I spoke to earlier. Talk to them a bit, find out that Alex plans to join McGill's debate club. Talk a bit about debates with her, then the 3 of us decide to head back to the dorms early because we all are tired, and nothing much is really happening. Partying just really isn't my thing. I go like once in 2 years, and I much prefer going to a pub to just chill and talk or listen to a live band, like at Wala Wala's.

Get back to the dorm at about 11 or so, and try to wash out my wash bag. The shampoo lathers a lot, and go through like 20 rinses before most of the shampoo is gone. Clean up my other toiletires as well, and go back to my dorm. Tomorrow is Discover McGill, a sort of free orientation package that takes up almost the whole day. Have no clue what the schedule is like. At least we're divided into our faculties, so at least I can finally meet some other EE undergraduates. Have a load of admin to sort out, and wonder whether I have the time to do so before heading to Niagra with the parents on Friday. But I guess I could always do it when I come back on Tuesday. I'l just play it by ear. I wonder what tomorrow is going to be like.

McGill: the day before

2005-08-25T19:08:00.000-04:00

It's day one now, free internet till Sept 12, when I'll have to start paying for it. Anyway, my record for the day before is below. Today was much better, but will probably only put it all down tomorrow or the day after. Meanwhile, entertain yourself with what's below.

We leave the house at 345, get to the airport slightly after 4. I thought I’d be early, but I was wrong; the terminal is packed. Apparently lots of Singaporeans are headed for NYU and U Michigan and are also taking the same flight as I am. Run into two platoon mates who are there to see other friends off, and also into one of my PCs headed for U Mich from my NS days. My friends present to me a photo collage. It's real nice, and I really appreciate it. Will get a photo up asap.

The stopover at Tokyo was uneventful. The flight from Tokyo to Detroit is bumpy, and we were in the clouds a lot. No personal TV screens on this 10 plus hour flight, so I try to catch a bit of sleep and read my book. It’s called “Everything Bad is Good for You” by Steven Johnson. He examines the positive impact of the various forms of mass media around us now, including video games, TV, and the Internet. His arguments are pretty simple, but pretty well substantiated. Halfway through the book now, and I find it pretty easy reading.

At Detroit, I am greeted by an unfriendly American immigration officer, Grudzinski. I present my Singaporean passport to him, and he asks me where I’m going.

“I’m in transit, going to Canada” I reply.

“What for?”

“I’m going to be studying at McGill.”

“Do you have a CI-something or other form? (I forget the name)”

“Are you talking about an acceptance letter?”

“No, I’m talking about the (whatever he calls it) form”

Emphasis on "No", like he is talking to an idiot. I let it slide.

“Well, I don’t have one.”

“Let me see what you got from your University then”

So I hand him my documents. He digs p the acceptance letter and is satisfied. Stupid prick. Then he asks me for my student visa.

“I don’t have one”.

Why does he want my student visa anyway? What has a Canadian document have to do with American immigration?

“Why not?”

“I’m a Canadian permanent resident”

“Well, then you should have said so earlier” he scowls.

Well, gee sorry, but how was I supposed to know that the fact I was a Canadian PR (not citizen) was relevant to the US immigration authorities? Anyway, he asks to see my PR card and returns me my Singapore passports, saying “we don’t have much use for this now do we?”. Sacarstic ass. Then, right after examining my PR card he asks to see my Singapore passports. This guys is a real pain in the butt, and I curse under my breath in hokkien as I leave the counter.

The connecting flight to Montreal was fortunately, pretty short. There was this pesky kid behind me who kept kicking my seat, and his dad did nothing whatsoever to stop him during the entire flight.

Anyway, get to Canadian immigration, which is overloaded because of a number of delayed flights. At least the lines kept moving, and the officer who greeted me was much friendlier than the stupid asshole in America.

Meet up with the parents, and load my stuff up into the car. When my dad inserts the ticket into the machine to pay for the parking, the machine says the card is not readable. Great. Ask for assistance, and sit in the car . Some guy behind us tries to help, but the machine just can’t read it. We let the guy pass us, and the car park attendant comes. He tries the card, and it is still unreadable, so he gets my dad to follow him to sort out the problem.

When we finally get out, we grab some dinner – extremely oily fries, a charo ( I think that’s how you spell it; basically pita bread with some lettuce, garlic cheese and meat.) and a smoked meat sandwich. After that, we go looking for a hotel to stay in. wander around Montreal, and miss Sherbrooke street entirely, where there are a number of hotels. Get thoroughly lost, then stop and ask for directions. Get directions to Sheerbrooke, and find out that all the hotels in Montreal are full. The lady at the front desk helpfully helps us call hotels in the vicinity, but no luck. Looks like my parents aren’t the only one accompanying their kid to University. It is about 11 at night by the time we manage to get a room with her help. Get directions and set off.

The highway we are supposed to take is congested, at like 1130 at night. Wtf. Never mind, inch our way towards the hotel, only to find that there are some road works along the highway we are supposed to take, and the section of the highway that is closed includes the exit we are supposed to take. Get lost again, regain our bearings, and find an alternative way to the hotel.

In the room, open my bag and find that my wash bag is covered in shampoo. Stupid me. I forgot to empty out my shampoo bottle a little before packing it since it was brand new, and the changes in air pressure have caused the bottle to overflow. Toothbrush and razor now smell like my shampoo. Fortunately only one shirt has shampoo on it. Too tired to think, so I try to clean it off with a wet towel since it is only a little spot, and end up making it worse. When the shampoo gets wet it starts to lather. Damn. Leave the shirt in the toilet, together with the wash bag. Plan to pack both items into a plastic bag and sort it out when I get to my dorm tomorrow.

It is late by the time we settle into the hotel room. We checked in at 12 midnight, so guess tomorrow won’t be a late day. The way things are shaping up, it looks as if I’ll be missing orientation after all as I’d like to go to Niagra Falls with my parents. Oh well, we’ll see how it goes. Suling tells me freshman orientation (or FROSH, as it is known in McGill) is a waste of time anyway, that the whole making friends thing doesn’t happen because everyone gets so pissed drunk they forget who they meet. I seriously doubt that, and actually don’t mind going for oritentation to see what it's like, but it looks like it ain’t going to happen.

It’s late now, move-in is tomorrow, and will probably leave for Niagra with the parents on Friday. Hopefully things get better from here. This is not a great start, but I am still excited by the prospect of starting school. And the one thing that strikes me is that the people here are pretty friendly and helpful, even if you don’t speak French. So it isn’t all bad, just mostly so. For now, at least.

It will get better.

Stay tuned for updates.

Just before I go

2005-08-22T14:45:00.000-04:00

My secondary school days were the best times of my life, and the friends that I made during those heady days were the once-in-a-lifetime sort. There has never been any doubt in my mind that this has been the case, and the evidence is right in front of me now, literally. My flight to Montreal leaves at 6 am, so I've got to leave the house by 4; my parents have already flown to New York to meet me in Montreal. How to get to the airport? Trust my friends to come up with the solution. Stay over my place and send me there. So they are in front of me, catching whatever sleep they can get before sending me off, and then heading for class after.

I'm really tired now, and it's almost time to get ready, so I'll just say to these people with me now, thanks for everything that you guys have done for me these last few weeks. I really appreciate it.

Changes all round

2005-08-19T14:20:00.000-04:00

New look, just cos' I was getting bored of the old template. Nicely coincides with major changes in my life right now, with me going to McGill for my undergraduate studies and all. I've been busy packing the past week, most of my stuff is in my luggage now, and I've been clearing out stuff from my room so that my brother can take over the room when I'm gone.

I now understand the buzz about starting school that my friends have been talking about now, but I'm also aware that it'll fizzle out pretty quickly, just like it has for most of my friends. Maybe observing my friends try to cope with school is a good thing, as it gives me an idea of what is to come, but then again, my experience might be completely different.

In a close friend's words, "It'll feel really surreal when you first get there.", and I'm already starting to get that kind of feeling. In a few days, I'll be in a completely new environment among unfamiliar faces.

My parents leave on Sunday for New York, and then they'll drive up to Montreal. I'll be leaving in the wee hours of Tuesday, at 6am. Which means I have to get to the airport by about 4am. Which means I'll be waking up at like 3am. I probably won't be able to get to sleep anyway, so we'll see how it goes.

But I am sleepy now, so I shall end here tonight.

Leaving soon

2005-08-14T11:15:00.000-04:00

As the day for me to leave draws nearer, I'm actually starting to look forward to starting school. I can't really explain the change in my outlook on things, but I'm starting to get really excited. Maybe it's because I've met up recently with a number of friends who are back during their hols, and I hear from them how much fun school is; or maybe because when I speak to friends who are studying locally, I hear from them how they have to adapt to new circumstances too. It might even be that after 2 years of not doing very much, I can finally get on with my life.

Another thing I'd like to do is to thank those of you who turned up for the soccer game today, and also those who wanted to, but couldn't. Thanks for the stuff that you guys got me, it's greatly appreciated, and I'll be packing it with me, I promise!

Am I coming back?

2005-08-06T20:14:00.000-04:00

I still haven't really decided whether I am looking forward to leaving Singapore in about 2 and a half weeks' time. If I were just leaving for my education, and knew that I'd be coming back after 4 years, I'd probably be looking forward to leaving. But my enthusiasm is somewhat dampened by the fact that in 4 years' time, I might not have very much to come back to at all. I've been asked by many people on many occasions whether I am looking forward to going abroad to study, and my honest answer is, I really don't know.

My friends often ask if I'm coming back after I'm done with my education, and my answer is once again, my customary "I don't know".

I don't know because I'm uncertain whether or not we're leaving this place for good. For how long am I going to be saying good-bye to my friends and relatives, to this place I call home? Even if I wanted to, I might not have very much to come back to after I've completed my university education because my family would probably have all made the move to Canada by then.

Ask me again in another year or 2, and my answer would probably have changed. After I've settled, and after I've had a taste of what life is really like in Canada, and I'll probably be more certain of where my future lies, and what I intend to do.

If you ask me now, and if I had to give an answer, I'd say I'd want to come back after I'm done with my university education. But you'd have to bear in mind that it's highly possible that my answer would change in a few years. That's the best answer I can give at this point in time.

Thanks

2005-07-31T23:49:00.000-04:00

I just want to say thanks. You all know who you are.

...

2005-07-28T22:15:00.000-04:00

Is it so wrong for me to have some fun on the computer into the wee hours of the morning while I still can? Is it really so bad for me to wake up at 10 in the morning the next day?

So now, on the brink of adulthood, I have to live with a curfew - no games after 12:30am.

This stinks.

Under the weather

2005-07-24T07:05:00.000-04:00

I've still got a few thoughts to pen down regarding my approaching departure, but I'm down with a bad case of the flu and don't really feel up to it today.

An interesting aside though. My mom's organising a farewell/21st dinner for me and my family on Saturday (sorry, none of my friends are invited because there are already about 30 people, and my aunt's house and my mom's budget do not permit me to invite you guys). Some suggestions from my relatives:

get a stripper
use condoms of all sorts to substitute balloons for decorations
get me high on alcohol just for the fun of it

Don't ask.

Moving on...

2005-07-20T13:11:00.000-04:00

I leave for Canada in slightly over a month. In the past week or two, I have come to realise that when I leave for Canada, I will have to give up some things that I really enjoy doing.

That leaves me feeling a tinge of sadness, and yet, maybe it is time to move on. I haven't done everything I wanted to do, but there is no more time for me to do it. And I also recognise that I'll probably not do these things even if I happen to come back, either during my hols, or after 4 years, when my course ends.

So maybe it is just as well. Maybe the passion will fade after a while... or maybe it won't. On the one hand, if it does fade, it will be easier to move on, and yet, I do not want to forget because I still enjoy it so much.

What I am leaving behind here, I know for sure - family, friends, passions and familiarity, and maybe even a sense of comfort. What I stand to gain from this move, I am less sure about. That makes it both exciting and daunting at the same time.

But compare the unknowns I stand to benefit from to the knowns that I will be leaving behind, and tell me, why am I supposed to be looking forward to this again?

The NKF debacle

2005-07-14T02:43:00.000-04:00

Looking beyond the money, the perks, the expensive bathroom fixtures and the fleet of cars, what really strikes me about the whole NKF debacle is how bad the PR is.

I can't believe that the NKF's first response to this incident is not to issue an apology, or at least a reassurance to its donors and patients, but is instead to take out a full page advert in Today to ask for support for its charity show tonight. After all the revelations about how public money is spent at the NKF, these people still want to issue a plea for continued donations? Do they really expect that the public will continue to give, especially now?

Mr T.T Durai is right in saying that he has done nothing wrong. In the eyes of the law he hasn't. But as a head of the largest charity in Singapore, surely he must know that the court of public opinion is what matters. And in the eyes of the public, he has been less than honest in stating the NKF's need for funds, and the NKF has not been transparent in the way that it spends public money.

His defence that everything was approved by the board of directors also calls into question their management of the NKF. Aren't they there to provide oversight? Just what are they doing then? On what basis did they decide to pay Mr Durai a 12 month peformance bonus? And if Mr Durai is so well paid, how much are the directors' renumeration packages?

Mrs Goh Chock Tong, patron of the NKF, says that $600,000 is "peanuts" when you have reserves of more than $200 million. I beg to differ. It is not "peanuts" when this money comes from the goodwill of the people. It is not "peanuts" when in donating this money, the public expects it to but put to good use, to help save lives. And if it was indeed, "peanuts", then why be so secretive about it? The $200 million comes from the goodwill of average, hardworking Singaporeans. They should be the ones who decide if it is, indeed "peanuts".

The NKF has called on the public not to stop donations because good work is indeed being done, patients are being treated, and lives are being saved.

Until steps are taken to address the lack of transparency with which the NKF operates, there is no way for us to know if the money we are donating is indeed put to good use. The patients should not suffer if they have $200 million in reserves. There is no guarantee that the money we are giving is actually going to the patients, so how exactly will they suffer? Until steps are taken to reassure the public and to guarantee meanigful use of public money, there is no reason for the public to continue with their donations. Sure, the NKF's reserves will have to be drawn upon, but this can be built up again, gradually, over time, with proper accountablilty and management.

Until then, give your money to the Kidney Dialysis Foundation, another charitable organisation in Singapore which helps sufferers of kidney disease.

Mr T.T Durai and the NKF's perceived lack of wrongdoing on their part should be corrected.

Why?

2005-07-11T22:55:00.000-04:00

A Red Lion had an accident during the NDP rehearsal on Saturday, and news spread pretty quickly among my friends who were Commandos during our NS days. Hearing the reports on TV brought back memories of my own botched landing during a night jump that I executed. I could still distinctly remember thinking "Oh no, I'm not in my landing position yet!" just a split second before hitting the tarmac in the darkness.

As one of my good friends observed, it's weird that we still seem to crave information about our unit, even though we longer are in active service. Everytime something happens regarding the Commandos, we always want to know everything about the incident. There always seems to be a lingering concern, despite my telling myself and my friends that I couldn't care less. I think deep down, I do care.

I ask myself why, and I don't know the answer. Despite the empty and broken promises that were made, despite the ill-feeling that built up during our last months in service, the concern remains.

The days gone by

2005-07-03T07:26:00.000-04:00

I went back to Catholic High on Saturday for a game of soccer with my friends. We were invited by our teachers who informed us that there was going to be a carnival in celebration of youth day. When I first stepped into the school, memories of days gone by came flooding back.

The school compound however, had changed considerably, and I wandered around to explore the recently renovated building. There were some changes in the layout of the secondary section of the school, but the major changes were in the common space shared by the primary and secondary sections, and the primary section of the school itself. I got lost a couple of times exploring the new surroundings, and many of the "scars" we left on the building were no longer there. The ink stains caused by pen refills being thrown into the ceiling fans, the imprint of soccer balls kicked against the falls, the broken window panes, and the overhead lights missing a flourescent tube or two had all disappeared. Our damage had been undone.

Despite all this, there was surprise, and even a hint of satisfaction on the faces of the few of my former teachers who still remain. It was pleasantly surprising that they still could recognise me.

After a game of soccer played in the hot afternoon sun, my friends and I reminisced about old times - the cheap and good food in the canteen, the still sandy as ever soccer pitch, the wickedly funny punishments some of us had to serve, the teachers(or rather, teacher) that scared us most, and the mischief we made.

Times like these don't come by easily anymore, and I don't have such fond memories of my JC days. For this reason, I will forever cherish the times I had and the friends I made in secondary school.

Preparations

2005-06-30T13:02:00.000-04:00

I haven't updated this blog much recently because in a bid to reduce my spending, I have been staying at home. So I usually just help out a little with the housework in the mornings, then spend the afternoons reading, watching TV, playing some computer games, or just sleeping.

How terribly unexciting.

I did play badminton with some of my friends on Wednesday. It was pretty enjoyable, and a good workout, though my right arm is aching now. I also ran on Monday and Tuesday night, so I'm pretty satisfied with my level of physical activity this week.

I've been calling the travel agent once a day for the past 3 days because they send their itineraries by e-mail, and when I wanted to leave depended on whether I was flying direct to Montreal or stopping over in Vancouver. Anyway, after 3 days of phone calls and e-mails back and forth, it's all sorted out now, and I'll be leaving for Vancouver on the 19th of August. After spending the weekend with my aunt over there, I'll head to Montreal. So that leaves me with about 7 weeks in Singapore. I'm not too sure if I'll be heading back here after my term ends in April or if I'll just go to Vancouver and stay with my aunt, so I might be away for a year and a half or so before I come back to Singapore.

I plan to clean up my room next week. My army gear is still in my duffel bag which is dumped in a corner of my room. I'll probably take everything out and wash the bag before packing everything in nicely again since the bag has been collecting dust since... a very long time ago.

After that I'll probably start packing for Canada already. Somehow I don't feel overly excited or apprehensive about my departure. I'm not sure why I'm not looking forward to this, though I am not reluctant to go either. Whatever it is, I seem to be taking my time about my preparations for going overseas. Stuff like my exit permit, PR documentation and the like. Most of the stuff has been done now though. I've gotten the exit permit, and my PR documentation is more or less done, but that's about all.

When I see my friends who are studying locally, they seem to have so many things to do - decide which halls they want to stay in, send in their hostel applications, sign up for hall orientation, sign up for faculty orientation, and a whole list of other stuff. It's just a little unsettling that everyone seems to be gearing up for university, and I don't feel as if I am.

Maybe I'll feel the buzz that everyone seems to get about starting school again when I arrive in Canada and move in to my university residence.

Right now, I just feel like I'm missing out on stuff, and everyime my friends talk about things regarding universiry, I feel so left out.

It was worth it

2005-06-20T07:00:00.000-04:00

30 plus degree heat in scorching afternoon sun.

Just over a day after getting back from Vancouver, where the average temperature was about 16 degrees.

My first soccer game in 6 months.

I am contented.

Despite that fact that we were beaten pretty comprehensively, and overlooking the fact that I didn't really play well, I really enjoyed myself. So I scraped my knee, ache all over the day after and am now limping a little because of a calf cramp.

It was worth it.

Back

2005-06-17T12:53:00.000-04:00

I'm back, almost one week earky, from Canada. Truth to be told, it wasn't really much of a holiday. It felt more like a business trip. We applied for our Social Insurance Numbers, got bank accounts and are awaiting our PR cards now. My parents also did a bit of house hunting, just looking around my aunt's area for housing.

Oh, and when travelling, don't wear a belt with a large metal clasp, because it's really inconvenient. Metal detectors these days are so sensitive, and security is so tight, you almost have to undress to get through airport security.

I'm pretty tired now, and have some unpacking to do, so this is it for now.

My bags aren't packed

2005-06-07T13:24:00.000-04:00

I'll be heading for Canada on Thursday morning, and am scheduled to get back on the 24th of June, but I might be back a couple of days early if all our immigration matters are cleared up. Those of you who'd like stuff from Canada, sms, e-mail or msn me quick. I know this is late, but well, better late then never.

I have not done any packing yet, hanging the clothes that have to be packed at my door. I'm not sure if I'll be able to update stuff here while I'm in Canada, so this place might be a little stagnant for a while (if it isn't already). I guess I really should go to bed and do my packing when I wake up, so I'll end here.

2005-06-06T10:30:00.000-04:00

The night air is still. I lie back on the cool ceramic floor, my heart still racing, my breathing still ragged, my body drenched in sweat, the adrenalin still at the back of my throat. I am exhausted, but deeply satisfied.

I'm going make it a point to go for night runs more often.

2005-06-02T13:15:00.000-04:00

My contact lens tore while I was removing it on Wednesday night, and I didn't manage to take it out. What was supposed to be a $10 night at Coco Latte then turned into a $100 visit to the doctor's.

I spent the night waiting at the A&E unit of Tan Tock Seng instead of going to my friend's birthday party. It was frustrating, to say the least, but trust my good friends to brighten up my night. Since we hadn't gotten the birthday girl anything, my absence at the party made a perfect excuse. And trust my friends to duly inform me while I was seeing the doctor.

"Eh Tim, so are you coming down?"

"Erm... Don't think so, depends on what time I'm done here, and whether you guys will still be there. But I don't think I'll be able to make it."

"Oh, ok. How's the eye?"

"Alright, not about to go blind or anything."

"Ok, that's good. Anyway, we told her that the present is with you lah, so if you do come down, just say you left it at home or something."

"Wah thanks, I thought we were going to tell her that she'd get a belated present?"

"We couldn't tell her when we got there, so we just said it was with you."

After the conversation, I couldn't stop myself from smiling. The people around me must've thought I was crazy, grinning like a fool while waiting in the A&E to see a doctor.

My friends never cease to amuse me.

Money, money, money

2005-05-31T10:00:00.000-04:00

So this is how you do it. Put up an ERP cordon around Orchard Road to reduce congestion, and a few days later, allow the public transport companies to raise their fares by the maximum amount permissable.

Might as well prepare us for the next increase and announce it now, a couple of years in advance. Put in the usual disclaimers and cite the need for fleet renewal and rising operating costs. Say it'll be subject to review, then allow them to go ahead with it anyway.

This is even better than SimCity. In that game, raise taxes and levy parking fines are there will be discontent and people will move away from your city. Your commercial district will have loads of abandoned buildings. Not so in sunny Singapore, here you can milk your citizens for all they are worth, and even get to call those who emigrate "Quitters". So fun right? SimCity didn't allow you to call those who chose to leave your city "Quitters".

According to the Public Transport Council, an estimated 0.1% decrease in unemployment and a growth forecast of 2.5 - 4.5% is sufficient grounds to raise the fares by the maximum allowed, never mind that people's pay packets might not have increased at all. And anyway, my family is not a "typical family of 4", so I don't give a crap about how their transport costs are estimated to increase by an average of $2.20 a month. There are 8 people in my humble HDB home, what's so typical about that?

Oh, and profits are "healthy", but not excessive, so you can go ahead and increase your fares, for "healthier" profits, you know. No need to go through the hard work of cost reduction and such. Just raise fares.

I'd rather not have "world-class" TV Mobile in buses and "world-class" plasma screens that play endless advertisements instead of showing me when the next train is arriving. I'll be satisfied with not-so-world-class LED panels in MRT stations, that actually display useful information all the time.

These justifications are just pathetic. If they want to allow an increase in fares, surely they should come up with better reasons than this.

Store Wars

2005-05-29T07:17:00.000-04:00

I haven't been blogging much lately cos, well, there wasn't really much for me to talk about or reflect on, and also because I managed to get a temp job for a week from a friend. Anyway, I watched Episode 3 on Monday. The action scenes were pretty good, everyone knew what the storyline was and the dialogue was so bad, it was laughable.

For a parody of the Star Wars series, go here.

And for the Singapore style summary of the movie, you can go here. I know, I know, we must Speak Good English, but this is real funny. A word of warning though, if you haven't watched it and are planning to do so, don't go to the site yet. Got spoilers one, ok? Don't say I didn't warn you.

2005-05-26T13:52:00.000-04:00

Michael Owen must really be kicking himself for quitting Liverpool for Real Madrid now.

And no, I am not a Liverpool fan.

History

2005-05-18T23:14:00.000-04:00

It's finally starting to sink in the day after. The VJC debate team made history and won the ACJC Intercollegiates yesterday night. Though my involvement in the development of the team has been limited by other commitments like NS, tuition and stuff regarding Canada, I'm really happy for the team.

Well done guys!

Memory lane

2005-05-16T09:32:00.000-04:00

The past couple of days have been a trip down memory lane of sorts, meeting up with people whom I have not spoken to in a while, and it has been mighty fun. After last Thursday's dinner and dessert, I met up with another close friend yesterday.

We went to Chinatown because she had to book a trip for her family to Genting over the long weekend ahead, and I decided to go check out the prices of tickets to Canada for myself and my parents as well. After that was done, we just walked around the place because she had another appointment to keep in the evening, but did not plan to go home before that. And it felt just like the last time we did this kind of thing together, just walking around, updating each other about our lives and talking about serious stuff occasionally. On top of all this, there was, of course, the usual verbal jibes between the two of us. I enjoyed it all.

On the way home after my afternoon of wandering, I bumped into two other friends whom I have not seen in a while. I talked to both quite a fair bit, before leaving with the customary promise to stay in contact.

Today, I spent the morning cleaning up the clutter in my room, and I stumbled upon a lot of stuff from my friends past and present. Old birthday cards, Christmas greetings, letters, short messages, photos and the lot. Some of these letters were from friends with whom I have not had any contact with for years, despite our assurances to each other to stay in touch.

Sometimes, friendships just die a natural death. The lack of shared experiences after we go along on our individual paths makes maintaining a friendship awkward, because there really isn't all that much to talk about anymore. There is a gradual decline in communication, and eventually, it just becomes uncomfortable to talk to that person at all. Yet with other friends, the lack of shared experience does not seem to have any ill effect on the relationship. With some friends, occasional meet-ups seem sufficient for maintenance. Even though we have our own lives to lead, and problems to solve, picking up where we left off is effortless.

But no matter whether a friendship lasts a week or a lifetime, our friends will always leave an indelible mark in our lives, no matter how small, and even though sometimes, our parting may not have been amicable, we still remember the days when we were friends.

Dinner and dessert

2005-05-12T22:24:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I met up with a couple of friends from my secondary school days for dinner at a hawker centre opposite Queensway. As one of us remarked, "This is the first time I come to Queensway without stepping inside or going to IKEA!". Ok, to clarify I did step inside Queensway shopping centre, for all of 10 minutes. We had BBQ seafood for dinner, and the food was pretty good, but not too filling, so we decided to get some ice-cream for dessert.

We headed down to Island Creamery at Serene Centre. The place sells locally made ice-cream, and notable flavours are Tiger beer sorbet, and teh-tarik ice cream. A single scoop sells for $2.50, and they sell 500ml tubs for $8. The ice-cream is good stuff, and the teh-tarik ice cream tastes like, well, teh-tarik lah. Pretty rich teh-tarik. Mudpies there are real good too.

Anyway, I had fun with my friends, as I always do. Even though we don't meet up all that frequently, we're always able to pick up where we left off as if nothing happened. We seem to be able to turn back the clock, and talk about stuff that is of no importance whatsoever, like how painting ceilings is tiring on the neck. We came up with a list of solutions to this that were so inane I'm not even going to bother listing it here, but it was good fun.

I'm just glad that the dynamic between us is still preserved even though we have mellowed ever so slightly with our age. It is real fun to hang out with them, just like we did in secondary school, and I always look forward to it since having fun with them seems so effortless.

Boy, will I miss times like these.

The trip

2005-05-09T14:10:00.000-04:00

So we are going to Canada from the 9th to 23rd of June to get our PR cards. Together, one big family. Because it's "better". Instead of me, my mom and my brother going in mid-May and coming back by the end of the month, and my 2 sisters and my dad making the trip in June.

Nevermind that since my brother is in poly, he is going to miss 2 weeks of his final year because school starts on the 30th of May for him. Nevermind that my mum, who works as a doula, has work commitments in June.

So practically nobody is looking forward to the trip, even though it's supposed to be a holiday as well. But nevermind, at least we're sticking to the original plan, even though whether it is the better option is questionable.

It's probably just me

2005-05-07T22:34:00.000-04:00

Ok, so here it is, the reasons why I have been... unhappy over this past week.

I am not unhappy that my dad would rather I get a double room in McGill to save money. I understand his reasons for wanting to save money if we can. In fact, I agree that I should not be spending money unnecessarily because I have 3 other siblings who have yet to go through university. However, it is obvious we disagree on what is "unnecessary".

I even accept that we may not agree on what is "unnecessary". I have no problems with that either. But if I think that something is important to me, and I am willing to pay for it myself, I don't see what the problem is. If there is a problem, all I'm asking is for it to be highlighted to me. "Go talk to your mother" is not a response that helps me understand what the problem is. Especially if my mother is not the one who is opposed to my choice in the first place.

Having established all that, I think this episode is an indicative of a bigger problem. And that problem is how we people deal with uncertainty.

Let's be honest. Deciding to put in a PR application means that we are looking to emigrate. We might decide to come back to Singapore if we find we don't like it in Canada, but we are still going to be living in another country for a couple of years at least. There is uncertainty inherent in the decision to emigrate. I've elaborated on my uncertainties before in a previous post. I'm sure that my family members are also uncertain about how the future will turn out.

I understand the need for caution when faced with uncertainty. I agree that we should be cautious, but not overly so. Because in analysing risks, we need to accept that some risks should be taken. There is no fail-safe way to make sure everything works out as planned. Plans will need to be changed. In fact, plans have already changed. But change is not necessarily bad.

When dealing with uncertainty, some people try to plan for everything ahead of time. That's ok, but there is a need to recognise that plans need to be flexible to cope with the unexpected, that sometimes things can be done a different way, and still turn out alright.

But this is just my opinion on how we should deal with uncertainty. It isn't the only way we can deal with it.

I just think that since we have different concerns, we should highlight these concerns to each other. We should address the difference of opinions, not sweep it under the carpet, and say "there is nothing to talk about", when obviously there is.

But it takes 2 hands to clap, and there is only so much I can do. That is why I am unhappy. Not because we disagree, but because we refuse to recognise that we do. And because of that, we don't have a feel for our different concerns.

And it should not be that way.

I recognise however, that "should" is the operative word.

Maybe I need to recognise and accept that what "should be" and what "is" aren't always the same.

Maybe it's just me.

Incoherent

2005-05-05T23:33:00.000-04:00

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should just learn to settle for less. Compromise, and settle for a little less than normal. After all, it's just "a little less" right? How much difference could it make?

If you make a choice that requires you to step out of your comfort zone, how do you deal with it? Shouldn't you try to familiarise yourself with the unfamiliar circumstances, thereby expanding your comfort zone? Step out, take a risk and see where it takes you?

Or maybe you should step back, because it is unfamiliar, and anything that is unfamiliar is unsafe. But what do I know right? I'm only 20, going on 21. I probably know nothing about what I'm talking about here.

Don't worry. Even I think I'm not making much sense.

Situation normal

2005-05-05T10:01:00.000-04:00

Quite a number of thoughts have been floating around in my mind lately, but they're all over the place, and I don't know how much I should put into words.

If you speak an average of a sentence a day to someone living in the same house as you, the situation is normal, or so I am told.

Case closed. Nothing happened. Nothing to resolve. Let's go back to how everything was. I make my choices, and there will be no interference. I am free to do what I want.

Well, time to brush up my play-acting then.

First Principles

2005-05-02T13:07:00.000-04:00

Worrying does not solve anything. Worrying about things which you have no control over, about things which you an do nothing about, just makes you more miserable. It also makes the people around you miserable.

If doing something makes you worry so much every one gets miserable, maybe you should not do that something.

If you really want to do that something, stop worrying about it. Just take things as they come.

Perspective is important. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't get hung up over "what if" situations. Face up to the problems when they arise. It's important to know what you want, so you have a general plan for things. But that's all it is - a general plan. Be flexible.

Trust yourself. Trust those around you. Trust that you can handle problems if they arise. If you really can't handle the problem, trust that your family and friends will be there to lend a helping hand. Above all, trust God. You do not have to face the world alone.

"God didn't promise day without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain. But He did promise strength for the day, comfort for tears and light for the way"

I give up

2005-05-01T00:17:00.000-04:00

I didn't have much to write about until the weekend, but now I have loads to talk about. First and foremost is related to my going to Canada for studies.

I can live with the fact that my dad worries about lots of things. I can live with the fact that he worries about my tuition fees and residence fees and all. I can live with the fact that he worries whether I'll be able to cope academically. I can live with the fact that he worries period.

But I can't stand it when he asks me to find out things for regarding my university education in Canada, and when I tell him he says "Tell to your mother lah". Because she is not the one who's worried about these things. Because HE asked me to find out. Because HE has the final say. He wanted to know more about my residence fees. Fine. I went to find out, and it is a legitimate concern. So I find out the difference between having a to myself and sharing a room with someone else is C$500. Having lived in communal conditions for 2 years, I'd rather live alone, in my own room. Maybe I'm anti-social. So be it. I want my personal space.

So I broach the subject to him.

"Can I get a singe room in McGill? The difference between a single room and a double is only $500 a year."

"How long exactly is a year?"
(McGill has 2 types of residence, one with an 11 month lease and one with an 8 month lease)

"8 months."

"Why do you want to live in a single room?"

"Well, because I don't want to be stuck with a lousy roommate?"

"How much does it cost again.?"

"C$500 a year, I'd be willing to pay the difference between a single and double room."
(My agreement with my parents is that they pay for my tuition and residence, and I'll pay for living expenses)

"Tsk, we should try to save money, how much is the total going to cost then?"

"I'm not sure, I gotta check the estimates we made before, but the difference in the housing costs is only going to be C$500."

"I dunno lah, talk to your mother"

I know we should try to save money, but that's why I asked my parents whether they were financially able to pay for my university expenses, whether they needed help. I was told not to worry. And anyway I offered to fork out the difference. And I don't understand why I now need to do an estimate of the costs all over again.

We already did that. I even managed to get him to sit down with me so that he could see how I arrived at the final estimate. So that I could answer his questions as best as I could. So that I could explain to him the costs as I understood them. So that I could include stuff in the estimates that he wanted.

Now the difference in the estimate of housing is going to be C$500, that's all. I'm not going to another faculty, I'm not deciding to go to another university with different costs. Everything is THE SAME. Housing's just going to cost C$500 more.

Anyway, my mum was in the room, so she tried to talk to my dad. I just walked out of the room to let him fret it out with my mum. I didn't want to hear it because it's always the same. He worries about some aspect of my university education , be it financial, academic, whatever. He then asks me to find out. So I oblige, I go find out, and tell him what I found out. Then he worries again and he asks me to find out more, or "talk to my mother".

So my mum comes to talk to me to ask me for the estimates. Which he had a hand in drawing up. So I regurgitate everything to her, and add in the C$500 difference. Which is basically what I told him before. How a full blown estimate is going to change the C$500 difference I don't know.

I can't stand that he wants me to keep him informed about what's going on with my application, but when I do, he tells me to "find out more" or "talk to my mum" when everything has to eventually go through him, when he will have to endorse the decision, not my mum. I don't understand why he has to hear things from my mum, when I know more about the process than she has to. And when she does explain things to him, she'll eventually get back to me to ask me to explain things to him in front of her.

This is quite frankly getting fucking ridiculous. I don't understand why my mum has to be put in the middle, why he has to hear everything at least twice, if not 3 times, from me or my mum. It doesn't change what he hears. I don't understand why he likes to worry about things he can't do anything about. Like I told my mum, if I'm going to study overseas, there are some costs that you can't avoid, no matter how much you worry about them. Like rent, like living expenses. Like it or not, you have to pay for these things. Worry about these thing is not going to make them go away. This was why I already asked my parents if they could afford it financially, whether I needed to chip in.

"We have more than enough."

Not just enough, but more than enough. And anyway, like I said, I offered to pay the bloody difference.

I give up. There are some uncertainties you just have to live with and deal with as they come along. If he wants to worry about every single thing, then I might as well not go. Stay in Singapore and study in NUS. No need to worry about food and lodging, no need to worry about exchange rate, no need to worry about expenses. No need to worry period.

I don't want to go anymore. I just can't stand it.

Ants

2005-04-26T21:10:00.000-04:00

There are ants residing underneath the keyboard of my laptop.

This is not good, considering my laptop's only a month and a half old.

On a high

2005-04-24T08:30:00.000-04:00

I went for my first run in a couple of months today. I am so going to ache all over tomorrow. I ran near my uncle's place, around Seletar camp. I passed a couple in a car in what they thought would be a secluded spot during the run. No prizes for guessing what they were doing. It was about 6 in the evening, so they obviously couldn't wait till it turned dark.

Running is supposed to release endorphins, and so is sex. So I'm just wondering whether that couple in the car in got their endorphin high. At least I know I got mine.

Other than that, nothing eventful about the run, except to confirm that I need to run more often.

I'm starting to get restless, and the urge to play soccer is stronger than ever now, since I have nothing to do all day, and I haven't had a game of soccer in 3 months, after my orthodontic surgery.

"Wait 3-6 months." was what I was told, so actually I can play soccer already. But my parents would rather I be more cautious. I understand their concerns, and so I'll try to stay off soccer for as long as possible. My friends just played a match yesterday, and I was really tempted to tell them I could play.

I wonder how long I can hold out.

Too much time

2005-04-22T12:57:00.000-04:00

Much has been said about the casino/integrated resort, but this article about it is a good read.

And you know you have too much time on your hands when you find games like this one amusing.

On maturity and open mindedness

2005-04-20T05:51:00.000-04:00

In today's Straits Times, there are a number of letters in the Forum lauding the decision to build IRs in Singapore. One letter even said "April 18... is the day Singapore became more open minded and mature."

Err... Right. So if you buy your son a car for his 18th birthday, then ask him to get the keys from you everytime he wants to use it so you can check whether he is drunk, are you trusting him to be mature enough to handle the responsibility of owning a car? Similarly, building an IR, and then telling your citizens they have to pay $100 to go in is not "open minded and mature".

Recognise the outcome for what it is. The decision was made on economic grounds, not on whether we as a society are "open minded and mature". When you have a minister saying "But with 35,000 jobs created, I can't say 'no'.", when the the PM tells you that we stand to reap $5 billion in investment, maturity is evidently a non-issue.

This is not about maturity and open mindedness, it's all about the money. Plain and simple.

We are NOT an open minded and mature society simply because we have decided to allow a casino or 2 to be built. There is so much more to being an open minded and mature society than that.

Integrated resorts

2005-04-19T03:18:00.000-04:00

So we're gonna be getting not one, but 2 ~~casinos~~ integrated resorts in sunny Singapore in about 4 years from now. Before I go any further, just let me state for the record that I am not against the building of a ~~casino~~ integrated resort in Singapore.

It's just that well, imposing a $100 charge on Singaporeans to prevent them from patronizing the place is like saying "Oh, you know what, the ~~casino~~ integrated resort brings lots of social ills that Singapore doesn't want to put up with, but you foreigners can go screw up your lives with your gambling addiction, after all, not our problem. But in the meantime, we'll be happy to take advantage of that.". I think if the gahmen doesn't think we are ready to face the costs of setting up a ~~casino~~ integrated resort in Singapore, it shouldn't be building them. To me, building 2 ~~casinos~~ integrated resorts, and then trying to disourage your citizens from going there just goes to show that you don't think the general population is able to deal with it. Read the last sentence in this post, from the blog justhought.

And, just some food for thought, what is the gahmen going to do about those people who go to online gambling sites? Is it going to say "You can't go online to bet! Must come to our 'integrated resorts' (and pay $100 to enter) to gamble instead!". How are they going to discourage people from a cheaper, more convenient alternative when they don't want to encourage Singaporeans to gamble anyway?

The whole Japan-China row

2005-04-18T03:25:00.000-04:00

There's an on-going row between Japan and China right now over some textbooks which Japan have approved for use in their schools. China claims that it overlooks certain atrocities committed by the Japanese during World War 2 and is thus unhappy with Tokyo's approval of the textbooks.

I don't know what's exactly in the textbooks, but I believe that Beijing certainly has grounds to be unhappy with the situation. But, I also believe that allowing your citizens to damage Japanese owned/linked businesses and what not, and refusing to apologise for it is not exactly neighbourly conduct either. China has its own violent past too, and I'd be surprised if this wasn't underplayed in their own history textbooks.

Some other thoughts from my friends, Adrian, and another of my friends' blogs, justhought. Another article from The Young Republic, here.

The "going away" talk

2005-04-16T09:47:00.000-04:00

I was wondering when I would get the "going away" talk. The one about how I'll be all alone when I go to McGill and have total freedom, about reponsibility and all. Well, I got it on friday night. I can't really remember how exactly it started, just that my parents were downstairs watching TV, and I went down to get some lozenges for my throat.

Dad: "So you know you'll probably feel homesick and lonely at first right? Especially in the first few months you are over there."

Me: "Yup."

Well, I'll have to live with it won't I? Going to Canada to study was my parents' idea anyway. Not that I don't want to go, it's just that I didn't think I'd have the opportunity.

Mom: "Especiallly on your birthday and over Christmas."

Hmm... Let's see... When I was serving NS, I spent my 19th birthday in, of all places the Temburong Jungle in Brunei. That was fun. In the middle of a 7 day, 6 night mission. My birthday present then? A night's worth of rain. And Christmas last year? Oh yeah, in Hendon Camp, on a week's long standby. Watching the rest of camp book out to go for block leave during that period was the best Christmas present ever. Really. As my RSM said then, "the whole of Singapore, myself and CO included, can enjoy their holiday, thanks to you guys.". That sure made me proud. Ok, I had my platoon mates with me on both occasions, but hey, being in camp just takes the fun out of everything. So this year I'm gonna be away from my family and friends on these 2 occasions. Again. Sigh.

Me: "Yup."

Dad: "You might get depressed and homesick, so make sure you know the signs of depression and watch out for them. Don't sink into depression."

This is coming from my dad. The same person whom I asked if I could come back during my summer break. His response? "Come back for what? Stay there and work lah. And if you come back, your exit permit how? What if they call you up for reservist training? What if they don't let you go back to Canada till you complete your reservist training?". So now he wants me to watch our for depression and homesickness.

Me: "Ok, but will I be coming back for the hols in my second year?"

So I try to push the subject again. I'd really like to come back to Singapore during my hols, just to catch up with my friends and family again. After all, I might be emigrating to Canada after I complete my studies over there.

Dad: "I don't know lah. We'll see how it goes."

See how it goes? Ok... Anyway, this also means I could probably ask them to let me have a little gathering/going away party/birthday dinner thingy with my friends before I go. I hope. I decided not too push for it just yet.

Me: "Ok."

Dad: "You must also have a strong moral compass. Over there, it's absolute freedom, no one to tell you what's right and what is wrong. We won't be there. We trust you know what is right or wrong. Don't go mixing with the wrong company and get started on drugs or tuen to booze or anything like that."

Me: "Yup."

Funny he should mention the drugs and booze thing, considering I was the one who told him about its prevalence, after I found out while talking to Suling.

Dad: "You must also be careful about girls and pre maritial sex."

Actually he said a bit more, but I can't remember it all. Anyway, it's not as if I haven't been open with my parents about this kind of thing, although, truth be told, there's not too much to be open about. My dad went on to talk about one of his friends' sons, who went overseas to study and ended up with a family. Instead of him supporting his parents after university, his parents have to keep sending him money to support his family. Guess my dad doesn't want ME to end up like that.

Me: "Ok."

Dad: "We won't be able to support you over there. Whatever money we have given you, it is for you to choose how to spend, so make sure you manage your finances properly."

Ah, freedom. But well, I don't disagree with him. My agreement with my parents is that they pay my tuition and housing fees, and my day to day expenses will be borne by me. I've got no problems with that, after all, they've got another 3 children to put through university after me.

Dad: "It's very exciting to be able to go overseas to study, and I'm actually excited for you. I would have liked the opportunity myself. I just want you to be prepared for what it'll feel like and to know that you might face some problems here and there."

Me: "Yup."

So that was it, it's true that it's an exciting opportunity, but all the same, I think I'm more or less prepared to face the challenges that being alone brings. No doubt there will be ups and downs, but well, you just gotta deal with it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. As the time draws nearer for me to leave, I'm actually beginning to look forward to it even more.

2005-04-12T04:55:00.000-04:00

Sometimes we underrate what basic courtesy does. This became clear to me this morning after I had an interview with Fuji Xerox at the Singapore Science Park. There is only one service, 92 which serves the Science Park, and after my interview, to get to Buona Vista MRT, I waited for the bus for at least 25 minutes. 92 is a loop service, so you get to see the bus on the opposite side of the road before it turns around to get to the bus stop that you're waiting at. So it's a little frustrating when the bus is off-service when it passes by your bus stop when you saw it 10 minutes ago going in the oppsite direction.

Anyway, when I finally boarded the bus, the driver gave a cheery "Hello, good morning!" and I smiled back. And I forgot about how frustrating it was to be waiting 25 minutes for a bus on a hot, stuffy Tuesday morning. It struck me how the driver's cheery greeting just made things seem better. Just like that.

Read Mr Miyagi's thoughts on National Service here. The actual post is off another blog by Mr Miyagi, Days Were The Those. All I can say is that the guy is one lucky person. I've fired an M203 before, and well, if one lands next to you, you'll not be in one piece.

And of course, speaking of the SAF, I have a little to say too. But it isn't really a complaint, more like an observation. I called up Mindef's eServices hotline to find ot about exit permit stuff for my brother and me. My queries were answered pretty well, though I did get bounced around the various departments a bit in the beginning. At least they were all polite and helpful. For my brother, who is a pre-enlistee, things were a little blurry. We're going off to Canada for a week in June to get some admin matters for our PR done, so I called to find out if he required an exit permit. After navigating through the maze of menus, I managed to find out that he didn't need an exit permit as long as the trip was less than 3 months. However, they also had this query where you could enter your IC number and they'd tell you whether you need an exit permit.

So I entered my brother's IC number, and was notified that he DID require an exit permit if he was travelling with an international passport. Which was not what the general information menu had said. So I spoke to a customer service officer, who said that he DID NOT need an exit permit if his trip was less than 3 months, just a notification to Mindef of his overseas trip. This was a little confusing as nothing was mentioned about notification before I spoke to the customer service officer.

And the MIW website was not too helpful either. Take a look at it's general information on exit permits here. Real helpful that.

Ever So Often

377A

A la fin

NB

Note 2 self

Here and now

Not if, but when

Marseilles/Paris photos

Barcelona/Girona photos are up

We're not "all the same"

In whose best interests?

More questions, but I don't have any answers

The GST increase

"I can't sit in front because then I can't talk. And if I can't talk I'll fall asleep."

I wish I was a kid again

I spy with my little eye

Midterm season

I'm a "good man"

McGill does it again

"Friends"

Back to school again

Lost for words

And then I was gone

What higher standards?

I am Singaporean

A question

A tribute

Consolidation

I'm back

I'm coming back

The Da Vinci Code

Updates

Getting it off my chest

Exams

Hard work

Does it really matter?

Revisiting some lessons learnt

Questions

Walking on ice

Uncertain

Back to school

2006

Breather

Update

I am that boy

More photos

Nonsense

A friendly little chat

21

Introspection

A little out of focus please

What are we to do?

Wordless

Go away

Green Day

Starting school

Words of encouragement

Photos

Weekend at Niagara

McGill: day 1

McGill: the day before

Just before I go

Changes all round

Leaving soon

Am I coming back?

Thanks

...

Under the weather

Moving on...

The NKF debacle

Why?

The days gone by

Preparations

It was worth it

Back

My bags aren't packed

Money, money, money

Store Wars

History

Memory lane